Yudhi Herwibowo was born in Palembang, South Sumatra, but grew up in Tegal (Central Java) and Kupang (East Nusa Tenggara). He now lives in Solo (Central Java) and manages BukuKatta, a home publishing and printing company. He graduated with a degree in architecture, but he finds writing short stories and novels compelling. His stories have been published in Koran Tempo, The Jakarta Post, Jawa Pos, Media Indonesia, Suara Merdeka, Horison, Femina, and Esquire. His novels are Cameo Revenge (Grasindo, 2015), Halaman Terakhir (Noura Books, 2015), Miracle Journey (Elex Media Komputindo, 2013), Enigma (Grasindo, 2013), Untung Surapati (Tiga Serangkai, 2011), Lama Fa (Sheila, 2010), and Pandaya Sriwijaya (Bentang, 2009).

Find his writings at yudhiherwibowo.wordpress.com. Reach him at hikozza@yahoo.com.

Copyright ©2017 by Yudhi Herwibowo. Published with permission from the author. Translation copyright ©2017 by Oni Suryaman.

Robodoi, Bajak Laut dari Tobelo

Apakah ini hari-hari terakhirku?

Robodoi termenung sambil mengeja kata-kata itu dalam hati. Malam ini di kesendiriannya di tepi pantai, ia merasakan semua pertanda seakan mengarahkan ke hari-hari terakhir itu. Kerlip bintang-bintang di angkasa yang makin meredup, bisik angin yang makin tak terdengar di telinga, dan udara yang makin terasa terbatas dihirupnya. Semuanya seperti mengarah ke titik penghabisan. Tubuhnya pun bahkan terasa menggigil karena tamparan-tamparan angin malam yang seperti mampu menusuk ulu hatinya. Sesuatu yang tak pernah dirasakan sebelumnya. Walau ikarena semua tahu, sejak dulu pertanda-pertandalah yang mengantar jalan hidupnya hingga sampai seperti sekarang.

Robodoi, berasal dari Tobelo, sebuah daerah di Pulau Halmahera Utara. Ia laki-laki yang lahir saat langit tanpa bintang. Waktu itu tahun 1785, hanya ada bulan sabit yang nampak di atas sana, bersama angin dingin yang seperti berniat membekukan semua yang ada, dan kesenyapan terasa paling sempurna. Orang-orang desa kemudian berbisik-bisik, “Malam seperti ini adalah waktu yang tak diinginkan bagi sebuah kelahiran. Bayi-bayi akan mudah mati. Namun bila ia bertahan, ia akan menjadi sangat kuat.”

Ucapan itulah juga yang selalu diucapkan Papa Tatto – begitu Robodoi memanggil ayahnya – bertahun-tahun kemudian. Awalnya, Robodoi tak pernah benar-benar mengerti arti ucapan itu. Namun semakin dewasa, ia mulai mengamini ucapan itu, hingga hari ini, saat usianya telah begitu menua.

Lalaba, salah satu kawan seperjuangan Robodoi selama ini, yang sejak tadi duduk di sudut yang lain, melangkah perlahan mendekat. Sejenak ia duduk dalam diam, sengaja tak ingin menganggu kediaman Robodoi. Ia hanya menoleh sejenak memandang wajah orang yang hampir sepanjang hidup diikutinya. Membiarkan angin memainkan anak-anak rambutnya yang panjang, sambil sesekali menampar-nampar tubuhnya yang makin menua. Entahlah, di suasana seperti ini, ia seperti bisa merasakan apa yang sedang dipikirkan Robodoi. Kesendirian ini seperti telah mengikis semua semangat yang dulu membuncah. Mungkin itu karena tak ada lagi Yoppi, dan Pilatu, kawan-kawannya yang dulu selalu bersama.

Lalaba akhirnya menyentuh pundak Robodoi. Membuat laki-laki itu menoleh perlahan. Di bawah sinar bulan, kerut-kerut keriput wajah di depannya itu seperti tak lagi bisa di sembunyikan oleh malam. Lalaba sendiri sebenarnya sudah setua Robodoi, namun wajah pimpinannya ini nampak jauh lebih tua darinya.

“Semua sudah usai,” ucapan Lalaba  terdengar pelan.

Robodoi merasakan suara itu begitu jauh. Namun walau begitu, ngiangnya seperti tak pernah selesai terdengar di telinganya.

***

Semua sudah usai….

Itu ucapan yang tak pernah terbayangkan oleh Robodoi. Sejak bocah, garis hidupnya seakan sudah diarahkan pada satu titik. Robodoi ingat, saat ia berusia tujuh tahun, Papa Tatto membawanya ke tepi pantai. Didudukkan tubuh kecilnya di rakit bambu. Lalu Papa Tatto menarik rakit itu ke tengah lautan dengan perahu. Setelah dirasa cukup jauh, Papa Tatto kemudian melepaskan ikatan rakit itu.

Itu adalah pertama kalinya Robodoi merasakan ketakutan yang begitu menulang. Ombak terus menghempas rakit berulang kali. Membuat tubuh seakan tertampar berkali-kali. Beberapa kali ia nyaris jatuh, namun masih bisa memegang tepian rakitnya. Inilah yang membuat tenaganya habis. Pada akhirnya, ia tak lagi bisa menahan tubuhnya saat ombak besar kembali datang. Tubuhnya terpelanting dari rakit. Air asin tak henti masuk ke mulutnya, membuat rasa perih di tenggorokannya. Ombak semakin bersemangat, kali ini diikuti pusaran air yang seperti menarik-narik kakinya. Ia hanya bisa terus meggapai dengan sisa-sisa tenaganya. Di saat-saat terakhir itulah, ia berhasil meraih kembali rakitnya.

Ketika pada akhirnya Robodoi tiba di pantai dengan tubuh lunglai, Papa Tatto hanya berujar pelan, “Kalau kau selamat kali ini, itu bukan karena kau hebat. Kau hanya beruntung. Karena lautan tak akan pernah bisa kau kalahkan!”

Robodoi terdiam memandang wajah Papa Tatto yang mendekat.

“Maka itu… jadikan laut sebagai sahabatmu,” ujar Papa Tatto sambil menepuk pundaknya. “Dengan begitu, ia tak akan pernah menenggelamkanmu!”

Sekarang, Robodoi ingat bagaimana Papa Tatto mengajaknya pertama kali dalam perahu. Ia tak banyak bertanya kala itu, namun ketika Papa Tatto menyerahkan sebatang tombak padanya, ia sadar kalau ini tentu bukan sesuatu yang biasa.

Robodoi telah tahu sejak lama bila Papa Tatto menjadi anak buah Sultan Nuku. Itu adalah sebutan bagi pemimpin Kesultanan Tidore, Muhammad Amiruddin. Sejak lama, kesultanan itu memang tengah berperang melawan VOC, kongsi dagang milik Kerajaan Belanda yang sejak lama berdagang di kepulauan itu. Maka itulah, darah Robodoi segera mendesir ketika Papa Tatto menyuruhnya bersama beberapa pemuda lainnya menuju lautan.

Masih benar-benar diingatnya saat itu. Sebuah kapal pedagang budak Iranun membawa puluhan budak-budaknya menuju Sape, sebuah daerah di kepulauan Nusa Tenggara.

Awalnya Papa Tatto memerintah Robodoi dan pemuda-pemuda lainnya untuk menunggu. Papa Tatto sepertinya ingin menunjukkan ia dirinya dan perahu-perahu lainnya menghancurkan kapal pedagang budak itu dan merebut budak-budak yang ada.

Tapi ternyata suasana saat itu benar-benar tak bisa dikendalikan. Teriakan-teriakan penuh semangat, panah-panah yang mulai mengisi langit, membuat dada Robodoi dan pemuda-pemuda yang ada di atas perahu ikut bergejolak. Apalagi saat sebuah tembakan meriam mulai mengarah pada perahu mereka.

Mau tak mau Robodoi dan pemuda-pemuda lainnya meluncur ke tengah peperangan. Itu adalah peperangan pertama Robodoi. Napasnya seakan terhenti saat perahu yang ditumpanginya mulai meluncur. Teriakan pemuda-pemuda lainnya mengalahkan debur ombak, bagai teriakan burung-burung bangkai di kala menemukan mayat. Seiring itu panah-panah menyebar ke langit, bersamaan desingan senapan-senapan yang memekakkan. Lalu tak lama berselang, orang-orang dari perahu berhasil melompat ke atas kapal musuh yang jauh lebih tinggi. Teriakan-teriakan kematian kemudian memecah tak lagi bisa dibedakan, diakhiri pekikan-pekikan kemenangan.

Ini adalah hari yang menentukan. Tombak yang selama ini dikenal Robodoi hanya untuk berburu binatang hutan dan ikan, kini merasakan tubuh-tubuh musuh yang hangat. Darah yang sempat mengalir nampak mengering dan hitam. Sungguh, kematian seakan telah diciptakan untuknya.

Dan kemenangan selalu menjadi candu. Kemudian Sultan Nuku semakin terdesak oleh orang-orang berkulit pucat itu. Setelah Papa Tatto tewas di sebuah pertempuran, Robodoi memutuskan pergi bersama orang-orang yang tersisa, yang dulu megikuti ayahnya. Mereka kemudian berpindah-pindah tempat selayaknya orang buruan; mencoba membaur dengan penduduk desa yang ada di beberapa tepian pantai, lalu pindah lagi ke Raja Ampat.

Tapi lautan selalu memanggil Robodoi. Ya, sejak ucapan Papa Tatto padanya semasa kanak-kanak dulu, diam-diam Robodoi sudah menjadikan laut sebagai sahabat terbaiknya. Secara teratur ia manaiki sampan kecil untuk sekadar menikmati angin dan ombak laut. Ia juga tetap menghabiskan waktunya berenang ke kedalaman laut, untuk sekadar melihat aneka ikan-ikan dan gua-gua yang belum didatangi sebelumnya. Lebih dari itu, ia mulai memberi persembahan kepada laut, entah itu berbentuk kepala kerbau atau pun kepala sapi yang masih segar. Maka itulah, Robodoi merasakan bila dirinya dan laut seperti memiliki ikatan yang tak bisa dipahami orang lain.

Robodoi benar-benar tak pernah bisa meninggalkan lautan. Ia mungkin bisa menjauhinya beberapa bulan saat bersembunyi dari kejaran musuh, terutama kapal-kapal Belanda. Tapi itu seperti menahan kerinduan pada seorang kekasih. Ia rindu saat-saat mendorong perahunya ke pantai. Ia rindu dayungannya yang membelah lautan. Percikan-percikan air laut di wajahnya, seperti mampu membuat semangatnya membuncah. Juga teriakannya yang memecah langit, yang akan segera diikuti oleh semua anak buahnya. Sungguh, itu adalah hidupnya. Dan tak ada satu pun yang bisa mengekangnya, walau dirinya sendiri.

Maka di waktu-waktu tertentu, Robodoi bersama beberapa orang yang ia pikir sejalan dengannya, mulai mengendap-ngendap mengeluarkan perahu yang selama ini disembunyikan ke hamparan lautan.

Itu adalah cara Robodoi dan kawan-kawannya bertahan hidup. Awalnya, tak ada orang-orang desa yang mengetahui rahasia itu. Namun semua berubah saat Robodoi berhasil mendapatkan harta karun dalam rampokannya yang jumlahnya tak sedikit. Beberapa guci berisi emas dan perhiasan mahal.

Dari situ Robodoi mampu membeli duabelas perahu dan juga perlengkapan yang lebih lengkap. Ia bahkan mampu membeli beberapa meriam dan mulai berani mengajak pemuda-pemuda pengangguran untuk bergabung bersamanya.

Maka beberapa bulan berselang saja, Robodoi sudah merampok beberapa kapal milik pedagang Gujarat dan China. Ia bahkan berani menghancurkan beberapa kapal Belanda yang sedang melakukan patroli. Tak heran, bila hanya beberapa bulan saja namanya sudah menjadi momok menakutkan.

Ia berdiri di atas perahunya, memandang sepuluh kapal besar di hadapannya. Itu adalah kapal-kapal Belanda yang nampaknya baru datang di lautan ini. Mereka nampak tak peduli melihat kehadiran puluhan perahunya. Barulah saat ia memerintahkan serangan, dan ratusan panah meluncur ke langit, nampak kegelisahan di atas kapal. Meriam-meriam segera dipasang, dan serdadu-serdadu mulai mengeluarkan senapan untuk mulai balas menembak.

Tapi mereka terlambat. Yoppi dan Pilatu yang memimpin perahu-perahu dari arah belakang kapal-kapal itu, sudah menyusul serangan. Hanya butuh beberapa saat saja, lautan dipenuhi mayat-mayat yang mengambang hampir di semua penjurunya. Itu adalah mayat-mayat musuh-musuhnya dan anak buahnya.

Gara-gara perang itulah, namanya semakin berkibar. Orang-orang datang, dan meminta bergabung dengannya. Tak heran, sebulan sejak perang besar itu sudah ada 400 orang lebih yang mengikuti perintahnya. Orang-orang yang diyakininya, siap mati untuknya.

Kini, bukan lagi kapal-kapal kecil yang menjadi incaran Robodoi. Semua kapal tak lagi membuat mereka takut. Ia pernah mengalahkan kapal-kapal Gujarat dan kapal-kapal China, bahkan kapal-kapal Belanda yang dikenal memiliki banyak meriam. Perang sudah menjadi makanan sehari-hari bagi mereka semua.

Tapi tentu saja, sepanjang tindakan itu, Robodoi tak selalu beruntung.

Pernah dalam sekali, pasukan dari  Kesultanan Ternate berhasil menangkapnya. Namanya sebagai perusuh, nampaknya sudah membuat pihak kesultanan gerah, hingga mengirim pasukan khusus untuk menangkapnya.

Untungnya saat pihak Kesultanan Ternate akan membawanya ke daratan, anak buahnya berhasil menghadang kapal mereka. Pilatu, Yoppi dan Lalaba yang memimpin perahu-perahu itu.

Maka tak bisa dihindari lagi, peperangan di dekat pantai pun terjadi. Beberapa tembakan meriam sempat saling dilepaskan. Namun karena jumlah perahu-perahu Robodoi lebih banyak, pasukan Kesultanan Ternate kemudian memilih menyerah.

Robodoi dapat bebas saat itu. Namun ia yakin, pihak Kesultanan Ternate pastilah akan sesegera mungkin membuat rencana lain yang lebih besar untuk menangkap dan menghancurkannya. Maka Robodoi memutuskan untuk menepi sejenak. Ia membawa semua pengikutnya ke daerah di tepi SulawesiTimur. Ia mencoba pergi sejauh mungkin dari jangkauan Kesultanan Ternate. Namun tentu saja, sepanjang perjalanan itu, Robodoi sama sekali tak menghentikan upaya untuk menaklukkan kapal-kapal lain di lautan.

Robodoi memandang Lalaba. Teman akrabnya tetap duduk di sampingnya. Lalaba adalah orang yang paling berhati-hati di antara semua pengikutnya. Dia terlalu banyak berpikir, hingga kadang terlihat seperti penakut. Saat kawan-kawan yang lain penuh semangat untuk mengangkat senjata, ia selalu berucap berbeda dari lainnya.

Pernah suatu kali, Lalaba berkata dengan suaranya yang terdengar lembut seperti suara perempuan, “Sekarang kita semua harus memahami. Kini, semua sudah berubah. Apa kalian tak menyadari kalau kita sudah terlalu besar? Penduduk mulai menjauhi kita. Kita tak lagi bisa membaur bersama mereka.”

“Kita akan hidup dimana pun tempatnya, Lalaba!” Yoppi memotong cepat.

“Dengar,” ujar Lalaba lagi. “Kita sudah berkali-kali mengacaukan kapal-kapal orang-orang berkulit pucat itu. Mereka memang nampaknya tak terlalu menanggapi tindakan kita. Tapi aku yakin mereka pastilah sedang melakukan sesuatu yang besar untuk membalas itu semua. Sudah kudengar kapal-kapal mereka mulai berdatangan menuju perairan ini.”

Pilatu dan Yoppi tertawa berbarengan.

“Bukankah mereka selalu datang?” ujar Pilatu. “Dan bukankah kita pun selalu bisa menghancurkan mereka?”

Lalaba terdiam, ia mengalihkan padangannya pada Robodoi seperti meminta dukungan.

Tapi Robodoi rupanya lebih setuju dengan pendapat Pilatu dan Yoppi. Sudah berkali-kali mereka mengalahkan orang-orang bermuka pucat itu. Beberapa kapal yang kini digunakan bahkan merupakan kapal yang direbut dari mereka.

Robodoi memang tak pernah takut dengan kapal-kapal milik orang-orang berkulit pucat itu. Walau kapal mereka besar dan diisi dengan banyak meriam di sisi-sisinya, gerakannya sangat lambat. Hanya dengan satu kali perintah penyerangan saja, Robodoi bisa menaklukkan kapal-kapal mereka.

Tapi dugaan Lalaba ternyata tak keliru. Kedatangan kapal-kapal orang berkulit pucat itu kali ini bukan seperti sebelumnya. Ada beberapa kapal yang datang sekaligus dengan bendera Angkatan Laut Kerajaan Belanda. Dan kapal-kapal itu ternyata dapat bergerak dengan lebih cepat.

Hanya dengan satu penyergapan saja, mereka berhasil menghancurkan duabelas perahu milik Robodoi. Tak terhitung lagi banyaknya anak buah Robodoi yang tewas dalam pertempuran itu.

Kemarahan Robodoi memuncak.  Ini adalah kekalahan paling memalukan.

Robodoi kemudian memerintahkan untuk membeli beberapa perahu lagi. Ia kembali menyusun serangan balasan. Saat seorang pengikut melaporkan sebuah kapal berbendera Angkatan Laut Kerajaan Belanda nampak terpisah di daerah Raja Ampat, Robodoi tak menyia-nyiakan kesempatan ini.

Malam itu juga, di bawah perintahnya secara langsung, Robodoi segera memerintahkan menyerang kapal itu. Yoppi dan Pilatu memimpin perahu-perahu lainnya untuk menyebar membentuk setengah lingkaran. Sedang perahu Robodoi dan Lalaba mengarah lurus ke depan.

Anehnya, kapal Belanda di depan nampak tak berupaya melarikan diri. Padahal jelas keadaanya telah terkepung. Mereka bahkan nampak tak terlalu kebingungan. Saat Robodoi mulai mengangkat tangannya sambil berteriak,“Sera-a-a-ngg!” ratusan panah lepas memenuhi langit. Hanya satu-dua kali saja terdengar dentuman  meriam sebagai balasannya. Robodoi langsung menebak, kalau tak banyak orang dalam kapal itu. Hanya beberapa saat saja, Robodoi sudah menaklukkan kapal itu. Namun saat mereka akan menaiki kapal untuk mengangkat meriam-meriam dan mesiu-mesiu dari kapal itu, tiba-tiba saja muncul kapal-kapal Belanda lainnya, yang entah datang dari mana, sudah mengepung mereka dalam sebuah lingkaran besar.

“Perangka-a-a-p!” Pilatu berteriak lantang. Mereka segera mencoba kembali ke perahu masing-masing. Tanpa menunggu perintah mereka mencoba menyebar ke segala arah, membuat musuh kebingungan memilih sasaran.

Namun meriam kapal-kapal Belanda itu dengan mudah menghancurkan beberapa perahu terdekat.

Malam tiba-tiba saja menjadi sangat mengerikan. Dalam pelariannya, Robodoi masih bisa melihat beberapa mayat pengikutnya yang hancur mengambang di lautan yang mulai memerah karena darah.

***

Robodoi terdiam dikesendiriannya di tepi pantai. Dibiarkannya angin berhempus pelan pada keriput di wajahnya.

“Semua sudah usai,” ucapan Lalaba terdengar pelan seperti menelisip di telinganya.

Lalu lanjutnya, “Semuanya sudah menyerah. Kita tak lagi bisa melakukan perlawanan. Pelarian ini sudah begitu melelahkan.”

Robodoi tak menyahut. Lalaba ada di sebelahnya, tapi suaranya terasa begitu jauh. Ini karena ia sudah merasa sangat lelah. Ia tak lagi ingat sudah berapa tahun melarikan diri. Orang-orang berkulit pucat itu seperti tak pernah merasa lelah memburunya. Padahal sudah beberapa tahun ini, ia tak lagi membajak seperti dulu.

Robodoi memejamkan mata. Akhirnya, semua yang diucapkan Lalaba memang benar adanya. Sedikit ia menyesal, kenapa beberapa tahun lalu tak menanggapi ucapannya saat ia meminta dukungannya.

Kini, Robodoi hanya bisa menarik napas panjang. Sepertinya ia memang tak punya pilihan lain. Semua sudah berubah. Laut memang masih menjadi sahabatnya yang terbaik, tapi ketuaan ini tak lagi bisa ditolaknya.

***

Maka akhirnya, dengan ditemani oleh Lalaba, Robodoi memutuskan pergi menuju Tobungku, salah satu daerah di Kesultanan Ternate. Waktu itu tahun 1852, beberapa anak buahnya masih mengawal dirinya, walau ia sudah berkali-kali menyuruh mereka pergi. Ia tahu, mereka sebenarnya sudah begitu lelah, namun mereka masih mencoba tetap setia padanya.

Namun saat tiba di Tobungku, orang-orang Kesultanan Ternate mengirimkan empatbelas buah kora-kora, perahu perang khusus Namun anehnya, di tengah perjalanan mereka memisahkan Robodoi dari semuanya. Mereka bahkan kemudian menutup mata Robodoi dengan kain hitam dan mengikat erat kedua tangannya ke belakang badannya.

Robodoi mulai merasa tak enak. Namun tak ada lagi yang bisa dilakukannya. Tanpa banyak bicara, orang-orang Kesultanan Ternate itu menggiringnya. Ia rasakan bila mereka membawanya ke atas sebuah kapal yang besar.

Lalu setelah beberapa lama tak terjadi apa-apa, seseorang akhirnya membuka kain penutup mata Robodoi dengan kasar.

“Jadi ini orang yang menyusahkan kita selama ini?” seorang berkulit pucat menatapnya dengan seringai yang tak hilang-hilang dari bibirnya.

Robodoi memandang ke sekelilingnya. Hanya ada beberapa laki-laki berkulit pucat dengan seragam biru putih yang tengah tersenyum mengejek padanya. Beberapa dari mereka bahkan menyorongkan senapan ke arah kepalanya. Ia kemudian sadar kalau Kesultanan Ternate ternyata bersekongkol dengan orang-orang Belanda untuk menangkapnya. Ini membuat amarahnya meluap. Kepalan tangannya mengencang. Walau ia tahu ada hubungan Ternate dengan Belanda, namun ia benar-benar tak pernah berpikir mereka menyerahkan dirinya pada Belanda.

“Kau tahu kenapa kami membawamu ke sini?” Lelaki pucat yang nampaknya pemimpin di kapal ini kembali menyeringai padanya. “Karena kau hanya pantas mati di lautan!” Sambil mengucapkan kalimat itu, ia mengangkat senapan pendeknya dan menembakkannya di paha Robodoi.

Seketika saja tubuh Robodoi terjengkang dari sisi kapal, dan jatuh ke dalam lautan, diiringi tawa dari atas kapal.

Sejenak, tubuh Robodoi tenggelam. Rasa perih dari titik di mana peluru bersarang di pahanya dengan mudah menyebar ke seluruh tubuhnya. Air di sekelilingnya mulai memerah.

Ombak kembali menghempaskannya berulang-kali. Seketika air laut menyapu wajahnya, Robodoi menarik nafas dan menyerahkan tubuhnya pada ayunan ombak. Dalam keadaan seperti ini, kilasan-kilasan  masa lalunya seakan hadir dengan cepat. Bagaimana saat pertama kalinya ia mengayun rakit dengan tangannya menuju lautan, lalu petualangannya yang menyenangkan saat menyelam di antara ikan-ikan yang indah dan gua-gua yang gaib. Juga teringat peperangan-peperangan yang dilakoninya hampir sepanjang hidupnya. Robodoi yakin, lautan adalah sahabat terbaiknya sejak lama. Bila hari ini laut ingin menelannya, ia akan membiarkannya dengan ikhlas. Maka ketika sekali lagi ombak menerpanya dan menghantam tubuhnya kembali ke dalam lautan, Robodoi memejamkan matanya. Ia yakin, laut tak akan mencelakakannya.

***

Despite his technical background, Oni Suryaman is driven by literature. In his spare time, he writes essays, book reviews, and fiction. He also worked as a part-time translator for Indonesian publisher Kepustakaan Populer Gramedia and Kanisius Publishing House. He has recently published a picture book titled I Belog, a retelling of a famous Balinese folklore, an adaptation of which was performed at the Asian Festival of Children’s Content (AFCC) Singapore 2017.

Read some of his essays and book reviews at: http://onisur.wordpress.com and http://semuareview.wordpress.com

He can be reached at oni.suryaman@gmail.com.

 Robodoi, The Pirate from Tobelo

Are these my last days?

Robodoi contemplated the words that filled his heart. Tonight, on the beach, he felt that’s where the signs were pointing. The sparkle of the stars in the sky was dimmer, the whisper of the wind seemed softer, and the air felt stuffy—all ominous signs to herald the final moment. He shivered as the evening breeze picked up and chilled his bones. He had never felt like this before. Though he liked to deny it, he knew—as did everyone else—that his life had been directed by the signs.

Robodoi had been born on a dark, starless night in 1785, in Tobelo, a region of North Halmahera, one of the larger Moluccan islands. The sky had been lit by only a crescent moon, and a chilly wind seemed to freeze all beings; the silence felt complete. “This is a bad night for the birth of a baby,” the villagers whispered. “The child is doomed to die young. But if it survives, it will be very strong.”

Papa Tatto—that is what Robodoi called his father—often repeated that saying, even years later. At first, Robodoi did not understand what it meant, but as he grew older, he started to appreciate the words. Especially tonight, shivering on the beach.

Lalaba, had been sitting some distance down the beach. Now, he sauntered towards Robodoi. Not wanting to disturb his leader, Lalaba remained silent and took in the features of the man he had accompanied for most of a lifetime. The wind whipped his aging body and played with Robodoi’s long hair. Lalaba felt he knew what Robodoi was thinking. Their recent isolation seemed to have killed off his strong spirit. It also could be because Yoppi, Pilatu, and their other comrades, were no longer with them.

When at last Lalaba gently touched Robodoi’s shoulder, Robodoi turned his head slowly. The moonlight lit the wrinkles in his face. Lalaba was as old as Robodoi, but his leader looked much older. “It is all over.” Lalaba’s voice was barely audible.

To Robodoi, the words seemed to come from afar, but they echoed endlessly in his ears.

***

It is all over….

This was something Robodoi had never imagined. Ever since he was a boy, his life had been pointed in one direction. Robodoi remembered how, when he was seven years old, Papa Tatto had taken him to the beach.

Papa Tatto seated Robodoi on a bamboo raft, then towed the raft by boat out to of the open sea. When they were out far enough, Papa Tatto released the raft.

The waves pounded and slapped Robodoi around. He nearly fell off the raft several times, but managed to hang on to the side, until a big wave rolled the raft and tossed him into the sea. Salt water filled his mouth and hurt his throat. It was the first time Robodoi had been scared of dying. The waves became more violent and pushed him into a vortex. He used his final bit of strength to swim toward the raft.

When Robodoi finally reached the beach, he was exhausted.

Papa Tatto only said gently, “You survived this time, not because you’re great. You were just lucky. You can never defeat the sea!”

Robodoi stared at Papa Tatto’s face as his father bent toward him.

“Therefore, befriend the sea.” Papa Tatto tapped Robodoi on his shoulder. “So she will never drown you.”

Papa Tatto’s counsel was wise, and Robodoi wanted to please him, so he tried to take his advice. He remembered what happened when Papa Tatto took him out on a boat for the first time. He was fourteen. He hadn’t thought much of it at that time, but when Papa Tatto handed him a spear, Robodoi realized this was not a regular outing.

Robodoi knew that Papa Tatto always had been Sultan Muhammad Amiruddin’s henchman. The Sultan of Tidore, who was also known as Sultan Nuku, had been fighting the VOC, a Dutch trading company, since the company arrived in the islands. Robodoi was excited when Papa Tatto asked him to join him on the boat along with several other young men. An Iranun slave ship was on its way to Sape, a region in Nusa Tenggara, with dozens of slaves on board.

At first, Papa Tatto ordered Robodoi and the other young men to wait. It seemed that he wanted to show Robodoi how he could destroy the slave ship and capture the slaves.

But the situation soon got out of control. Robodoi and the other mates became excited when war cries and flying arrows filled the sky. When a cannon shot was directed at their boat, he had no other option but to join the battle.

It was Robodoi’s first battle. His breath almost stopped as his boat gained speed. The yelling from the other young men beat the sound of the waves. They sounded like vultures that found carrion. At the same time, arrows whizzed through the deafening artillery fire. It didn’t take long before men from Papa Tatto’s fleet succeeded in boarding the much taller enemy ship. Soon, the air filled with death cries, followed by yells of victory.

It was a decisive day. The spear Robodoi had used to hunt game and fish had now been aimed at humans. Blood that had so recently flowed now dried and blackened on the blade and he realized his weapon had been designed to kill.

The feeling of victory was addictive. The Dutch continued to pressure Sultan Nuku and, after Papa Tatto was killed in one of the battles, Robodoi decided to join the survivors, the men who used to follow his father. They moved from place to place and tried to mingle with the locals of coastal villages before finally moving to Raja Ampat, a small cluster of islands in northeastern Maluku.

But the sea always called to Robodoi. Ever since Papa Tatto had introduced him to the sea, Robodoi quietly regarded it as his best friend. He regularly got on his boat just to listen to the winds and the waves and spent time diving to the bottom of the sea, to look at the fish and explore previously uncharted caves. He began to make offerings to the sea in the form of a freshly slaughtered cow head or water buffalo. Robodoi felt he and the sea had a bond no one could understand.

Robodoi could never really leave the sea. Perhaps he could stay away from her for a few months while hiding from his enemies—the Dutch ships, in particular. But just like someone pining for a lover, he missed her the moment he pushed his boat onto the beach. He missed paddling across the waves. Seawater splashing on his face never failed to revive his spirit. And he missed calling out to the sky, a cry that was quickly taken up by his men. Thus was his life, and no one could keep him from it, not even himself.

At times, Robodoi and some of his mates silently took the boat they kept hidden in the mangrove forest to sea.

That was how Robodoi and his men survived. Initially, no one from the village knew they were pirating. But everything changed when Robodoi discovered a treasure chest filled with gold and jewelry among the loot.

Using the gold, Robodoi managed to buy twelve completely outfitted boats. He bought several cannons and asked some vagrants to join him.

Within a short time, Robodoi had attacked several Gujarati and Chinese merchant vessels. He also dared to destroy a few Dutch patrol ships. His name was feared by the traders, but soon there was a battle that spread his fame even further.

Standing on his boat the day of the battle, Robodoi looked at ten big ships in front of him. They were Dutch ships that had just arrived in these waters. They did not seem to be bothered by the large number of his boats. Only after he ordered an attack, and hundreds of flying arrows were cutting through the sky, did the crew on the Dutch ship become agitated. They loaded their cannons and the crew readied to return fire.

Alas, they were too late. Yoppi and Pilatu, who led the boats at the rear of the ship, had begun to attack. It did not take long before Robodoi could see the floating dead bodies of his enemies as well as his men everywhere.

The battle made him famous. People came to see him and asked to join him. It was no surprise that only one month after the bloody battle, he had more than 400 men under his command. Men, who, he believed, were ready to die for him.

After that, he no longer only targeted the small ships. No ship could deter him. He defeated Gujarati and Chinese ships, he also conquered Dutch ships equipped with many cannons. Doing battle became a daily routine for Robodoi and his men.

Robodoi was, of course, not always that lucky.

Once he was caught by the navy of the Ternate Sultanate. Worried about his reputation as a pirate, the Sultanate dispatched a special convoy to capture him.

Luckily, Pilatu, Yoppi, and Lalaba successfully ambushed the ship that was bringing him to shore. A battle was inevitable. Several cannons exchanged fire. But because he had more ships, the sultanate’s convoy chose to surrender in the end.

Though he had managed to flee, Robodoi was certain that the Ternate Sultanate would make another plan to apprehend and destroy him. So he decided to lie low for a while. To position himself as far as possible from the Sultanate’s reach, he took all of his followers to the east coast of Sulawesi. Of course, he continued to pirate while at sea.

Lalaba did not agree with this decision. Robodoi knew that his friend was cautious and at times appeared like a coward. While the other men were eager to raise arms, Lalaba disagreed with them. “Everything has changed,” Lalaba told him gently. “Don’t you realize that we have become too big? The villagers are avoiding us. We can no longer mingle with them.”

“We can live wherever we want, Lalaba!” Yoppi interrupted him.

“Listen,” Lalaba said, “We have wreaked havoc on those white men’s ships. While they did not respond to our act, I’m sure they’re planning to retaliate. I heard that their ships are headed for these waters.”

Pilatu and Yoppi laughed.

“Don’t they always come?” Pilatu said. “And don’t we always succeed in destroying them?”

Lalaba looked silently at Robodoi, as if asking for support.

But Robodoi tended to agree with Pilatu and Yoppi. They had defeated the white men several times. They now sailed ships he had seized from them.

Robodoi had never really feared the white men’s ships. Even though those ships were large and armed with many cannons, they moved slowly. Robodoi had been able to defeat them with a single attack.

However, Lalaba was not entirely wrong. The new ships ships sailing under the Royal Dutch Navy’s flag were unlike those they had seen before. These ships moved much faster. With just one attack, they had destroyed twelve of Robodoi’s boats. Numerous men died in that battle.

Robodoi was enraged. This was his most humiliating defeat. He ordered the purchase of several more boats and planned a counter attack. When one of his followers reported a single ship flying the Royal Dutch Navy’s flag alone in the Raja Ampat waters, Robodoi saw his opportunity.

That night, Robodoi ordered an attack on the Dutch ship. Yoppi and Pilatu lead the other boats to form a half circle around the ship while Robodoi and Lalaba attacked it directly from the front.

Strangely, the Dutch ship neither panicked nor tried to escape. While it was obvious she was surrounded, no one seemed to be bothered. When Robodoi raised his hand and yelled, “Att-taa-aa-ack!” hundreds of arrows swished into the air. Their attack was met with a few canon shots. Robodoi assumed that there were not enough men on board to put up a fight. But when they boarded the ship to steal its cannons and gun powder, other Dutch ships appeared out of nowhere and encircled them.

“It’s a trap!” Pilatu shouted. He and his men hurried back to their own boat. Without waiting for further orders they dispersed in all directions, trying to confuse their enemies. The Dutch cannons easily destroyed several boats that came too close.

It was a horrible night. During his escape, Robodoi saw many of his men’s bodies floating in a sea red with blood.

***

On the beach, Robodoi sunk silently into his loneliness. The wind caressed his wrinkled face.

“It is all over,” Lalaba’s whispers slipped into his ears. “All the others have surrendered. We can no longer continue the fight; this running has become tiresome.”

Robodoi did not answer. Lalaba was sitting next to him, but his voice seemed to come from afar. He could not remember how long he had been on the run. He too was very tired. Despite the fact he had stopped pirating, it seemed the white men never gave up hunting him.

Everything Lalaba had predicted had come to fruition. Robodoi closed his eyes. He regretted having ignored Lalaba’s advice.

Now, Robodoi could only draw a deep breath. It seemed he didn’t have another option. Everything had changed. The sea was still his best friend, but he could not escape old age.

***

Finally, Robodoi decided to go to Tobungku, a region within the Ternate Sultanate. Lalaba accompanied him. It was 1852. Several of his followers escorted him, even though he had told them repeatedly to leave. He knew that, while weary, they still wanted to prove their loyalty.

When he arrived at Tobungku, the Ternate Sultanate sent fourteen kora-koras, Moluccan war boats. Robodoi was separated from the others. He was blindfolded with a black cloth and his hands were tied securely behind his back.

Robodoi knew something was wrong, but there was nothing he could do. Without saying a word, the guards from the Sultanate guided him. He could tell that they were boarding a big ship.

For a long time, nothing happened. Finally, someone ripped off the blindfold.

“So, this is the man who has caused us trouble all this time?” a white man stared at him, grimacing.

Robodoi looked around him. Several white men dressed in white-and-blue uniforms snickered. Some of them pointed a gun at his head. He realized that the Ternate Sultanate had conspired with the Dutch to catch him. Furious, he balled his fists. Even though he knew the Sultanate of Ternate and the Dutch were in cahoots, he never suspected the Sultanate would deliver him to his enemies.

“Do you know why we brought you here?” the white man who seemed to be the captain sneered. He pulled his revolver out of the holster and shot Robodoi in the thigh. “You’re only fit to die at sea,” he said.

Robodoi staggered and lost his grip on the railing. As he fell overboard, he heard laughter coming from the deck.

For a while, Robodoi felt himself sink. The pain from the wound in his thigh spread quickly to all parts of his body. The water around him started to redden.

The waves washed over him several times. When the sea water slipped off his face, Robodoi tried to breathe and surrendered himself to the waves. He recalled the first time he paddled a raft out to sea, using only his hands, and his adventures when diving among the fish and exploring magical caves. He remembered the battles he had fought during his lifetime. Robodoi was certain that the sea had been his best friend all of his life. If, today, the sea wanted to consume him, he would surrender willingly. When the waves once again folded him into a roll and slipped him back beneath the watersurface, Robodoi closed his eyes.

He was certain the sea would not harm him.

***

Dewi Ria Utari was born in Jepara on August 15, 1977. She began writing short stories in 2003. Her stories have been published in Djakarta, A+, Spice, Media Indonesia, Koran Tempo, and Kompas, and have appeared in anthologies such as Ripin: Kompas Selected Short Stories 2005–2006; Pena Kencana Literary Award 2008; and Cinta di atas Perahu Cadik: Kompas Selected Short Stories 2007. Her novel, Rumah Hujan, was published in 2016 by Gramedia. Dewi currently lives in Jakarta and is the Editor in Chief for Sarasvati, an art and lifestyle magazine. She can be reached at dewiriautari@gmail.com.

Copyright ©2017 by Dewi Ria Utari. Published with permission from the author. Translation copyright ©2017 by Femmy Syahrani.

Topeng Nalar

Sudah tiga hari Nalar demam. Biasanya demamnya cepat hilang begitu dikompres air atau keningnya ditempeli irisan bawang merah. Kemarin neneknya sudah membawa dia ke Mak Moyong—dukun anak. Kata si dukun kena sawan. Tapi demamnya tak juga turun ketika ia dipaksa neneknya minum jamu dari Mak Moyong.

Kalau sore ini aku dapat gaji mingguan, Nalar akan langsung kubawa ke Dokter Kiki. Puskesmas sudah tutup saat aku bubaran pabrik. Tidak tega aku jika menunggu sampai besok. Demam Nalar begitu tinggi. Lagi pula penyebabnya aku sendiri. Sebagai ibu dan penyebab sakitnya, aku harus bertanggung jawab. Apalagi sudah setahun ini hubunganku dan Nalar tak begitu hangat.

Penyebabnya, ketika setahun lalu, ia melihat aku nopeng dengan Ibu di kampung, Nalar memaksaku untuk mengajarinya nopeng. Aku menolak. Sudah cukup rasanya garis keturunan penari topeng berhenti di tubuhku. Lagi pula tanggapan nopeng sudah tidak sebanyak dulu saat aku remaja. Sejak tak banyak tawaran nari, aku memutuskan jadi buruh rokok. Pemasukan sehari-hari meski sedikit ternyata lebih mampu menyambung hidup kami berempat: aku, ibu, Danu dan Nalar.

Selain soal penghasilan, aku tidak tega jika membiarkan Nalar melalui sejumlah persyaratan yang harus kujalani dulu. Puasa mutih, yang hanya makan nasi putih, dan ngrowot, yang hanya makan umbi-umbian, Senin-Kamis, belum lagi dalam waktu-waktu tertentu harus tidur di lantai tanpa alas, hingga tapa kungkum, bersemedi dengan berendam. Aku menjalaninya karena tidak ada pilihan lain. Bukannya aku tidak suka menari. Namun, aku harus tau diri.  Rumah ini sudah kehilangan para lelakinya. Baik ayahku maupun suamiku. Mereka ditakdirkan meninggal mendahului para istrinya. Sungguh tak mungkin jika menjadikan ibuku di usia larutnya harus ikut mencari uang. Cukuplah aku.

Melihat keadaan ini, wajar rasanya jika aku tak menginginkan Nalar menjadi penari topeng. Seperti anak-anak lainnya, aku ingin ia sekolah sampai semampuku membiayainya. Setelah lulus, ia bisa kerja di pabrik, penjaga toko, atau penjual barang.

Harapanku pupus ketika tiga bulan lalu, Nalar diajak ibu mengunjungi makam Mbah Buyut di Desa Gabusan. Dua jam perjalanan naik bus. Sepulang dari sana, Nalar langsung ke kamar penyimpanan topeng dan mengobrak-abrik topeng-topeng yang sudah kusimpan rapi. Di depanku, ia langsung memasang sampur yang dibelitkan di pinggang dan memasang topeng di wajahnya dengan cara digigit. Saat kutanya, ibuku membantah telah mengajarinya menari. Nalar sendiri tak mengatakan apa pun. Ia hanya menari menandak-nandak dan baru terdiam saat kucopot paksa topeng di wajahnya.

Bukannya meredam keinginan Nalar, ibuku malah semakin bersemangat mengajari Nalar menari. Dengan sisa gamelan di rumah, Ibu mengiringi Nalar menari. Bocah itu paling suka gerakan lerep, gerakan mengelus dua jumbai di kiri dan kanan topeng, sambil mengentakkan kaki ke tanah. Jika hanya menari, sebenarnya aku tak terlalu kesal. Aku hanya tak suka ketika Ibu mulai mengajari berbagai tirakat yang pernah diajarkannya kepadaku saat seusia Nalar. Anak itu sudah terlalu kurus untuk ikut-ikutan puasa dan sejenisnya. Sebagai ibunya, aku malu jika Nalar dianggap kurang gizi. Ditaruh ke mana mukaku. Seolah aku tidak cukup memberinya makan.

Inilah kenapa aku tak suka berharap. Berkali-kali aku dikhianati harapan. Aku berharap Nalar bisa kerja di pabrik, penjaga toko, atau penjual barang. Setidaknya dengan tetap menjadi buruh nglinting rokok, aku bisa membiayainya sampai SMA. Memang ia baru tujuh tahun. Masih bisa ia berubah mengikuti harapanku. Tapi sekali lagi, aku benci berharap. Sangat membencinya ketika ayahku meninggal karena malaria, dan suamiku tak pernah pulang sejak pamit melaut tiga tahun silam.

Hanya tersisa satu lelaki di keluarga kami. Danu, kakak Nalar yang sekarang sudah kelas enam SD. Seharusnya aku seperti kebanyakan keluarga lainnya di kampungku, yang menaruh harapan ke anak lelakinya. Tapi bagiku, Danu tidak bisa diharapkan. Aku tidak bisa memercayai anak yang kulahirkan tanpa kutahu siapa ayahnya.

Mungkin karena aku tak menerima kehadirannya, Danu juga tak memedulikan kehadiranku. Ia lebih peduli pada Nalar. Baginya, Nalar lebih dari sekadar adik seibu. Nalar seolah dolanan yang tak pernah kubelikan sejak ia bisa merengek. Dolanan yang bisa membalas setiap sentuhan dan perhatiannya.

Sejak Nalar belajar menari, Danu tak lagi sering menghabiskan waktu dengan bocah-bocah lelaki yang kerap nongkrong di warung kopi Pak Gatot. Dulu, ia kupergoki terbatuk-batuk saat mengisap rokok pemberian anak-anak itu. Begitu aku lewat di depan warung, ia langsung klepas klepus berlebihan sambil duduk menekuk salah satu kakinya seperti gaya sopir truk yang suka mangkal di warung itu.

Belakangan ini, Danu lebih suka menunggui Nalar belajar joget. Ia menonton sambil menatah kayu randu untuk membuat topeng. Aku tak tahu dari siapa ia belajar. Pasti hanya coba-coba. Dari yang semula hasilnya topeng peyot Danu mulai bisa menatahnya seukuran wajah Nalar.

Sebenarnya aku senang, Danu jadi tak banyak nongkrong di warung. Tapi tetap saja aku memiliki banyak celah untuk memarahinya. Apalagi jika aku pulang dari pabrik dalam keadaan lelah teramat sangat. Teras rumah penuh serpihan kayu, menjadi benda yang cocok sekali untuk kuraup dan kulemparkan ke wajahnya. Sambil kelilipan, biasanya Danu hanya menyimpan marah dan mengambil sapu lidi. Nalar hanya bisa menangis.

Kemarahanku pada Danu semakin memuncak dengan sakitnya Nalar. Gara-garanya empat hari lalu ketika aku mendapat tanggapan nari di kampung sebelah. Juragan beras desa sebelah menang jadi lurah. Aku diminta nari tayub dengan Yu Wasis. Ibu sebenarnya sudah tidak setuju aku tayuban. Lebih baik nopeng saja. Katanya, nopeng lebih terhormat ketimbang nayub. Aku sudah persetan dengan alasan itu. Yang penting ada uang beli beras.

Ternyata Nalar mencariku. Rupanya ia dengar dari Danu bahwa aku dapat tanggapan nari dan ia merajuk ingin menonton. Kemudian Danu berhasil meyakinkan mbahnya jika ia bisa menjaga Nalar. Akhirnya mereka menyusulku.

Tiba-tiba aku melihat mereka diantara penonton. Namun perhatianku lebih tersita ke berapa banyak lelaki berwajah berahi yang bisa kukalungi sampur. Mereka jelas-jelas lebih royal menyisipkan uang kertas ke dalam kembenku. Semakin malam, aku tak cukup puas dengan puluhan tangan yang merogoh dadaku. Juragan beras yang punya gawe konon penggemar rahasiaku. Dia pasti bakal nyangoni aku duit berlembar-lembar jika bisa mengajaknya tidur. Sayangnya, niatku gagal ketika menjelang tengah malam, kulihat Nalar dan Danu berdiri termangu di deretan belakang penonton. Aku baru menyadari kehadiran mereka ketika hanya tinggal puluhan lelaki dewasa. Garis genit di bibirku mendadak wagu begitu melihat wajah pasi Nalar. Ia terlihat mimbik-mimbik tepat saat Kang Jono menyusup belahan dadaku. Aku langsung berlari turun dari panggung. Kuseret kedua anakku menjauh dari tempat itu. Biarlah malam itu menjadi rezeki Yu Wasis.

Sepanjang jalan pulang, kugelandang kedua anakku dengan perasaan kisruh. Di gendonganku, Nalar terus membenamkan wajahnya di cerukan dua buah dadaku. Sementara Danu tak mengeluarkan suara apa pun. Hanya bunyi srak-sruk kedua kaki telanjangnya yang bergegas mengikuti langkah kakiku.

Begitu sampai rumah, aku langsung masuk kamar dan membaringkan Nalar yang ternyata sudah tertidur. Setelah itu, aku keluar dan menarik tangan Danu yang sedari tadi berdiri mematung di ruang tengah. Tak kupedulikan teriakan ibuku yang sibuk bertanya, “Ono opo tho iki,” sambil membenahi rambutnya yang acak-acakan selepas tidur. Aku menuju kamar penyimpanan topeng. Setengah kudorong Danu ke dalamnya. Tak kupedulikan tangisnya. Tanpa mengeluarkan sepatah kata pun, aku mengunci pintu. Masih sempat kudengar isak Danu dari dalam.

Paginya, aku terbangun oleh igauan Nalar dan panas keningnya yang menyengat ketiakku. ”Mas Danu. Mas Danu,” igaunya sambil merem. Lirih suaranya memanggil kakaknya membuatku beranjak dari kasur. Niatku untuk terus mengurung Danu kubatalkan. Setidaknya, jika merasakan kehadiran Danu, Nalar agak tenang.

Tak kutemukan Danu di kamar hukuman. Kudapati selot pintu pengunci tak lagi terpasang. Ibu pasti melepaskannya tadi pagi. Tapi saat kutanya, ia menyanggah. ”Tadi pagi saat bangun, pintunya sudah seperti itu,” ujar Ibu sambil memarut kelapa. Sejak saat itu, tak lagi kudapati Danu pulang.

Suhu badan Nalar sering naik turun sejak kepergian Danu. Sudah beberapa kali kubawa ke puskesmas dan dokter yang harganya lebih mahal, mereka tidak menemukan penyebab pastinya. Bermacam obat, baik yang resmi maupun jejamuan, telah dicoba. Namun, hasilnya tetap sama saja. Nalar hanya terlihat anteng dan membaik keadaannya setiap kali menggenggam topeng yang dibuatkan Danu untuknya.

Sejak Nalar sakit-sakitan, keuanganku makin memprihatinkan. Apalagi pabrik tutup untuk sementara. Beberapa teman mengabarkan perusahaan rokok keluarga yang sudah berdiri sejak 50 tahun ini akan dijual. Tanggapan tayub pun mulai berkurang. Untunglah Pak Saidi, penabuh gamelan yang sering mengiringi aku nari, mengabarkan ada acara pengumpulan rakyat yang menginginkan tari topeng.

”Kok bukan tayub Pak?” tanyaku.

”Tayub memang lebih ramai. Tapi pemimpinnya ini katanya pengen pengisi acaranya sopan. Terus karena acaranya soal apa sih itu namanya, kepedulian pada seni bangsa sendiri, makanya mereka ngumpulin beberapa kelompok seni di daerah ini,” kata Pak Saidi.

”Tapi yang dipilih yang sopan. Itu namanya enggak adil,” sanggahku.

”Ndak ngerti lah aku. Manut aja. Terus mereka minta topengnya dicat ijo semua, biar katanya peduli lingkungan.”

”Piye tho, katanya tadi peduli kesenian. Terus sekarang peduli lingkungan.”

“Yah, namanya juga ngumpulin orang biar kepilih. Apa saja biar ketok apik tho,” tukas Pak Saidi.

Tak kupedulikan tangisan Nalar yang tidak mau topeng-topeng di rumah menjadi hijau. Hanya satu topeng yang tak kuganti warnanya. Topeng seukuran wajahnya yang dibuatkan Danu untuknya. Aku tak mau nantinya panasnya naik lagi di saat aku menari. Setidaknya setelah aku mendapat uang bayaran pentas, ia bisa kubawa ke dokter di kota.

Sore itu kuwanti-wanti ibu untuk menjaga Nalar di rumah. Sejak demam, aku memang tak pernah berani meninggalkannya cukup lama. Nalar masih ngambek saat aku pamitan. Ia menolak kucium pipinya. Bahkan, Nalar tak mau melihatku. Diselusupkan kepalanya di antara kaki mbahnya.

Setelah pimpinan partai yang mengadakan acara itu memberikan kata sambutan, kelompok musik angklung yang menjadi hiburan pertama. Aku mendapat giliran kedua. Meski bukan acara resmi, pesta rakyat yang diadakan sebuah partai itu dipadati warga desa yang haus akan hiburan. Apalagi sebelum acara dimulai dibagi sembako secara cuma-cuma.

Dengan takzim kupasang topeng di wajahku. Perlahan aku beranjak dari duduk bersilaku. Dari membelakangi penonton, aku memutar badanku setelah yakin topeng tak goyah. Saat itulah, ketika kuedarkan pandangan dari lubang di bagian mata topengku, aku melihat Nalar dan Danu berdiri di antara para penonton di bagian belakang. Mereka bergandengan tangan. Tarianku terhenti. Tubuhku beku. Di balik topengku, kulihat Nalar tersenyum. Sebelah tangannya menggenggam topeng kesayangannya. Perlahan ia memasang topeng itu di wajahnya. Sambil tetap bergandengan, kedua anakku berbalik. Melangkah menjauh entah ke mana. Itulah kali terakhir kulihat mereka berdua.

***

Femmy Syahrani has loved stories and language since childhood. She always took along a book wherever she went and, at an early age, took up learning the Sundanese alphabet and sign language. During college, Femmy was introduced to translation, which combined her interest in reading and learning a language. After she graduated, she worked for five years as an editor at an Islamic publishing house. She then began freelance translation. Over the past twenty years, Femmy has translated dozens of books and numerous non-literary projects, covering various topics. Femmy can be reached at femmy.syahrani@gmail.com.

Nalar’s Mask

Nalar has been running a fever for three days. Usually, a wet compress or some shallot slices on her forehead quickly dispels such fevers. Yesterday, her grandmother took her to see Mak Moyong, a healer of children, who said it was a bout of epilepsy. But Nalar’s fever persisted, even after her grandmother made her drink Mak Moyong’s tonic.

When I receive my weekly paycheck later this afternoon, I will take Nalar straight to Doctor Kiki. The public clinic will be closed by the time I finish my shift at the factory, but I can’t bear to wait until tomorrow. Nalar’s fever is very high. As her mother, I need to take responsibility. We haven’t been getting along during this past year and I might have contributed to her condition by upsetting her.

It all started when Nalar saw me perform the mask dance with my mother in the village and demanded that I teach her. I refused. The hereditary line of mask dancers should end with me and go no further. Besides, mask-dancing gigs are not as plentiful as they used to be when I was a teenager. When the interest and requests dwindled, I took a job at a cigarette factory. My regular paycheck, little as it is, proved to be a more reliable source of income than the compensation I received for dancing. It supports the four of us: my mother, Danu, Nalar, and me.

In addition to a mask dancer’s unpredictable income, I didn’t have the heart to let Nalar endure the series of rites I had gone through. Rituals such as performing three kinds of fasts: puasa mutih, when one only eats rice; ngrowot, when one only eats tubers; and a full fast on Mondays and Thursdays. At certain times, I had to sleep on the floor without any mattress, or perform the tapa kungkum, which is meditating while submerged in water.

I had gone through these rituals because I had no other choice. It wasn’t that I didn’t like dancing, but this household had lost its men. Both my father and my husband were gone; they had been fated to die before their wives. I couldn’t possibly let my mother, this late in her life, share the burden of earning a living. That burden should be mine alone.

Given these circumstances, I definitely didn’t want Nalar to become a mask dancer. I wanted her to stay in school, like all the other children, for as long as I could afford it. After she finished school, she would be able to get a job as a factory worker, a shopkeeper, or a sales clerk.

My hope vanished three months ago, when my mother took Nalar to the grave of Nalar’s great-grandmother in Gabusan Village, a two-hour bus ride away. When they came home, Nalar went straight to the room where I stored the masks and rummaged through the tidy collection. Then, right in front of me, she wrapped a long sash around her waist and put on the mask, holding it with her teeth.

My mother denied having taught Nalar to dance. Nalar herself did not say anything. She just pranced about and only stopped when I ripped the mask off her face.

Instead of discouraging the child, my mother was all the more eager to teach Nalar. With what was left of the set of gamelan musical instruments at home, my mother played music to accompany her granddaughter’s dancing.

The girl loved doing the lerep movement, stroking the tassels on either side of the mask while stamping her feet.

I wouldn’t have been too upset if my mother had only taught Nalar to dance, but then she began teaching the rituals she had taught me when I was Nalar’s age. The girl was too thin to practice the fasting rituals. As her mother, I’d be embarrassed if people thought that Nalar was malnourished. I’d lose face if she looked as if I wasn’t giving her enough to eat.

This is why I don’t like to hope—I’ve been betrayed too many times. I hoped Nalar would be able to work as a factory worker or a shopkeeper or a sales clerk. By holding onto my job of rolling cigarettes, I would at least be able to put her through high school. It’s true, she’s only seven now. She still could change and turn out the way I hoped, but once again, I hate hoping. I really hated it when my father died of malaria and my husband failed to come home after he headed out to sea three years ago.

Now, only one male remained in our family: Danu, Nalar’s brother, now in sixth grade. Many other families in my village put their hopes in their sons. I should have been like them, but I could not put my hopes on Danu. I could never trust a child I’d given birth to without knowing who the father was.

Perhaps because I did not accept Danu’s existence, he did not care about mine either. He lived with us, but he cared mostly about Nalar. She was more to him than just a half-sister—she was the toy I never bought him. A toy that responded to his touch and attention.

After Nalar began her dance lessons, Danu spent less time with the boys who hung out at Pak Gatot’s coffee shop. I used to catch Danu coughing from smoking the cigarettes they gave him. As soon as I passed by the shop, he made a show of puffing away, with one leg pulled up onto his seat, just like the truck drivers who loitered there.

Lately, Danu preferred to hang around Nalar during her dance lessons. He would watch while carving a mask out of kapok wood. I don’t know where he learned how to do that. He must have experimented on his own. His work improved from producing the ill-fitting masks he had carved in the beginning to the masks he now carved to the size of Nalar’s face.

I was glad that Danu no longer spent a lot of time hanging out at the coffee shop, but I still found many reasons to scold him— especially when I came home from the factory, exhausted. The wood shavings that littered the porch were perfect to scoop up and throw in his face. Blinking, he would hold back his anger and get a broom. Nalar could do nothing but cry.

My anger at Danu peaked when Nalar became ill. It started four days ago, when I was offered a dance gig in a neighboring village. The rice merchant there had been elected as the village head. I was requested to perform the tayub dance with Yu Wasis.

My mother didn’t approve of me dancing the sexually-suggestive tayub. She thought it was better to stick to mask dancing. She said it was more respectable than the tayub. I couldn’t care less about that; what mattered was to have money to buy rice.

Nalar apparently had heard from Danu that I had a dance gig and looked for me, sulking, because she wanted to watch.

Danu managed to convince my mother that he could look after his sister, and they went after me.

I didn’t see them at first, my whole attention was focused on how many lustful men I could entice by placing my scarf around their necks. The men were certainly generous with the money they tucked into my torso wrap.

As the night progressed, I grew unsatisfied with the dozens of hands that groped at my breasts. I heard that the rice merchant, who was hosting the event, was my secret admirer. He would surely tip me a large sum of money if I could get him to bed me. Unfortunately, I was unable to act on my plan.

Just before midnight, I saw Nalar and Danu standing, stunned, in the back row of the audience. The playful, seductive smile froze on my lips the moment I saw Nalar’s ashen face. As Kang Jono, slipped his hand into my cleavage, Nalar looked like she was about to cry. I immediately ran off the stage and dragged my two children away. Let tonight’s fortune fall to Yu Wasis.

The entire way home, I herded my two children in a state of turmoil. Nalar buried her face between my breasts as I carried her in my arms. Danu didn’t make a sound. There was only the shuffle of his bare feet as he hurried to match my stride.

As soon as we got home, I went straight to the bedroom and put Nalar, who was already asleep, in bed. Then I came back out and grabbed Danu, who had been standing motionless in the living room.

My mother kept shouting, “What on earth is going on?” but I didn’t answer. I dragged Danu into the mask storage room, ignoring his crying. While I locked him in the storage room, I could hear him sobbing.

The next morning, I woke up to Nalar’s hot forehead stinging my armpit. “Mas Danu. Mas Danu,” she murmured with her eyes closed. Her soft voice calling for her brother propelled me out of bed. I changed my mind about keeping Danu locked up in the room. Nalar would be comforted when she saw him.

I couldn’t find Danu—the door to the mask room was no longer locked. My mother must have unlatched it early in the morning. But when I asked her, she denied it.

“The door was like that when I woke up,” she said, as she grated a coconut.

After that time, I never saw Danu at home anymore.

Nalar’s temperature began to fluctuate after Danu left. I took her several times to the public clinic and to the more expensive doctors, but they couldn’t figure out what was wrong. We tried all kinds of medicine — modern and traditional — but the results were all the same. Nalar seemed calm and her condition improved only when she held the mask Danu had made for her.

Since Nalar became sickly, my financial condition worsened. The cigarette factory was temporarily shut down. Friends told me that the family who built and owned the fifty-year-old cigarette company was going to sell it. There were fewer requests for tayub performances.

Fortunately, Pak Saidi, a gamelan musician who often played the accompaniment for my dances, told me about a rally that wanted to have a mask dance.

“How come they’re not asking for the tayub?” I asked.

“Tayub draws a bigger crowd,” Pak Saidi said, “but the leader wants respectable performers for the event. And because the event is about—what do you call it— concern for our national arts, they’re bringing together performers from the area.”

“But they’re only choosing the ones who perform respectable dances. That’s not fair,” I protested.

“Well, what do I know—I’m only doing what I’m told. And they ask that all masks be painted green, to show concern for the environment.”

“What’s with these people? One minute it’s about the arts, the next it’s the environment.”

“That’s how you rally people to vote for you. Candidates do anything that makes them look good,” said Pak Saidi.

I ignored tearful pleas from Nalar, who didn’t want the masks in the house to turn green. I spared only one—the mask that Danu had made for her. I didn’t want her temperature to go up again while I was dancing. At least, after I received my compensation for my performance, I would be able to take her to the doctor in the city.

On the afternoon of the dance, I asked my mother to watch over Nalar at home. Since she began having fevers, I didn’t dare be away from the girl for too long. Nalar sulked when I said good-bye and wouldn’t let me kiss her cheeks. Refusing to look at me, Nalar hid her face in her grandmother’s lap.

After the political party leader who was hosting the event delivered his opening speech, an angklung group was the first to perform. I was scheduled to come after the musicians playing the bamboo instruments finished their piece. Although it wasn’t an official government event, it was crowded with villagers who hungered for entertainment. The distribution of free packages of the nine basic  staples: rice, sugar, cooking oil, milk, egg, salt, fruits and vegetables, meat, and cooking fuel before the party started was surely an added motivation to attend.

I mindfully donned the mask and slowly rose from my cross-legged sitting position. Starting with my back to the audience, I turned around after I made sure that my mask was securely fastened. It was then, when I looked around through the eye slits of my mask, that I saw Nalar and Danu standing among the audience in the back. They were holding hands.

I stopped dancing. My body froze. From behind my mask, I saw Nalar smile. She held her favorite mask in her hand. Slowly, she put it on her face. Then, still holding hands, my two children turned around and walked away to God only knows where.

That was the last time I saw them.

***

Arafat Nur was born in Medan, on 22 December 1974. He has lived in Aceh since his elementary school years. He experienced the Aceh Conflict and his writing reflects several of its incidents. Nur’s work won numerous awards. Lampuki (Serambi, 2009) won the 2010 Dewan Kesenian Jakarta (Jakarta Arts Council) Award and the 2011 Khatulistiwa Literary Award; Burung Terbang di Kelam Malam (Bentang Pustaka, 2014) was translated into English: A Bird Flies in the Dark of Night. His latest novel, Tanah Surga Merah (Gramedia, 2016), won the 2016 Dewan Kesenian Jakarta Award. Nur is a farmer and spends his spare time reading literary works and books about history and philosophy. He can be reached at arafatnur@yahoo.com

Copyright ©2017 by Arafat Nur. Published with permission from the author. Translation copyright ©2017 by Minerva Soedjatmiko.

 Lelaki Ladang

Hasan mesti bergegas memetik cabai di sepetak tanah di lembah dekat alur yang airnya hampir kering. Bagian tanah lembah yang tidak terlalu luas itu menjadi tumpuan harapan penduduk Buket Kuta di saat kemarau sedang melanda. Kampung itu tersembunyi di kedalaman sunyi rimbunan kebun kelapa terlantar yang telah berubah hutan belukar, berjarak lima belas kilometer dari jalan raya Medan-Banda sepanjang Aceh Timur. Untuk mencapai Idi, kota kecamatan yang tidak ramai, orang harus mempuh dua puluh kilometer lagi. Penduduk Buket Kuta tidak mengenal kota kabupaten, apalagi kota provinsi yang entah di mana letaknya, bahkan dengan angan-angan pun sulit mereka gapai.

Hasan bisa melihat di seberang sana, sisa Kampung Kulam, kampungnya dulu yang sudah tidak berpenghuni lagi. Pada tahun 1999, setahun setelah Soeharto terpaksa meletakkan jabatannya sebagai presiden dan Jakarta menjadi kacau, para pejuang mengambil kesempatan menyerang pos-pos tentara, sebagai pelampiasan terhadap pemerintah. Mereka mengecam karena tidak mendapat bagian hasil yang adil dari sumber daya alam Aceh yang habis dikeruk pemerintah pusat. Ketidakpuasan atas ketidakadilan ini disuarakan melalui pemberontakan yang terus menerus dilakukan.

Di Kampung Bukit Kuta cuma sekitar lima belas keluarga saja yang tersisa dari kampung mati itu, termasuk Hasan sebagai kepala keluarga, yang oleh tentara tidak ditemukan bukti keterlibatannya ikut membangkang pada pemerintah.

Hasan memang masih ingat bahwa di awal-awal perlawanan, tidak ada paksaan terhadap pajak nanggroe dan orang-orang kaya memberikan sumbangan dengan suka rela. Waktu itu perang masih seumpama api dalam sekam dan belum terlalu muncul ke permukaan. Kaki tangan pejuang bisa leluasa berkeliaran ke mana saja, menemui pengusaha dan orang-orang kaya di kota tanpa khawatir dicurigai tentara.

Serdadu yang jumlahnya masih sedikit hanya kenal satu dua dalang pemberontakan lewat foto yang mereka bawa, juga lewat selebaran-selebaran yang mereka tempelkan di dinding kedai, dan meunasah sebagai seruan kepada masyarakat agar melaporkan kepada tentara bila ada yang melihat orang-orang dalam selebaran itu.

Namun, kala perang berlangsung lama dan keadaan para pejuang makin terjepit, mereka meminta uang dengan paksa pada siapa saja sebagai biaya perjuangan. Mereka tidak bisa lagi menemui orang-orang kaya di kota. Sehingga, pajak nanggroe kemudian diwajibkan pada penduduk kampung yang masih bisa didatangi, tak peduli bahwa kaum petani itu hidup menderita dan papa.

Hasan terengah menarik karung berisi panenan diantara tanaman cabai di ladang.

Kampung Kulam yang tinggal kenangan dan telah menjadi hutan besar, tempat ular dan babi bersarang. Di kampung itu pula banyak penduduk yang mati dan telah terkubur. Hasan teringat bapak, mak, dan adik perempuannya. Seketika air mata jatuh menimpa ujung sepatu bot karet yang selalu dipakainya di luar rumah.

***

Sambil memetik cabai, Hasan mengunyah sebatang alang-alang sambil mengingat kembali saat para tentara marah besar sebab seorang pejuang nekat menghadang truk tentara dan membunuh sepasukan serdadu dengan tembakan bazoka.

Ratusan tentara datang keesokan harinya membakar rumah-rumah, dan menembaki siapa saja. Kampung tempat Hasan tinggal jadi ladang pembantaian. Tak peduli perempuan dan anak-anak, beberapa dari mereka ikut terkapar bersama laki-laki yang rubuh ke tanah bersimbah darah. Beruntung bagi Hasan dan istrinya, mereka saat itu tidak sedang di rumah. Mereka berada di ladang.

Dari ladang yang berjarak sekitar satu kilometer dari rumah, mereka bisa mengetahui kegaduhan di pemukiman, teriakan-teriakan prajurit yang menghardik dan memaki, serta letusan tembakan berkali-kali yang getarannya sampai ke dada. Setiap kali bedil meletus, napas Hasan tertahan dan jantungnya berdebar. Saat letusan senjata terjadi saling sahut, seakan ada segerombolan lain balas menyerang, Hasan dan istrinya yang sedang bunting lari menghilang ke hutan.

Ketika sejumlah tentara itu pulang ke pos mereka masing-masing, Hasan menemukan kampungnya sudah rata. Tak ada lagi rumah orang tuanya, tak ada rumah tetangga, tak ada lagi rumah yang tersisa. Semua sudah musnah dibakar. Cuma mayat-mayat terkapar di halaman rumah, dan berserakan di ladang-ladang kelapa dan palawija. Hanya mereka yang berada jauh dari pemukiman saja yang selamat. Melihat semua itu, jiwa Hasan terguncang selama berhari-hari kemudian serupa orang hilang ingatan.

Ketika sadar, dia menangis. Mengutuki perang. Kemudian hari, setelah guncangan jiwanya mereda, dia belajar untuk lupa. Hidup di sini harus bisa melupakan luka. Hidup menuntutnya bekerja. Dia bersama istrinya membangun gubuk baru di kampungnya sekarang.

***

Ratusan, mungkin juga sudah ribuan kali tentara yang mendirikan pos di pinggir kampung Buket Kuta ini memeriksanya. Hampir saban hari isi rumahnya digeledah, setiap jengkalnya diperiksa, dan mereka tak pernah menemukan senjata. Meskipun begitu, setiap kali serdadu datang memeriksa dan mengawasi kampung itu, Hasan tetap menjadi bulan-bulanan penyiksaan, sebagaimana juga setiap lelaki yang mereka temui.

Tentara sengaja memukuli penduduk, agar orang-orang membenci pejuang. Tersebab pejuanglah mereka terus-terusan dianiaya. Karena tidak sanggup melawan prajurit-prajurit garang bersenjata lengkap itu, penduduk menjadi marah dan geram dengan orang-orang yang melawan pemerintah. Ketika serdadu datang, merekalah yang harus lari menyelamatkan diri ke hutan untuk menghindari penyiksaan.

Setiap kali tentara meninggalkan kampung-kampung sehabis memburu pejuang, Mando Gapi dan anak buahnya selalu muncul bagai dari dalam bumi. Panglima Sagoe, petinggi pejuang kecamatan, itu tetap menuntut pembayaran pajak. Lelaki berahang persegi itu tidak peduli terhadap keadaan penghuni kampung yang teramat susah.

Agaknya dia begitu kesulitan mencari anggota baru yang mau diajaknya berperang melawan serdadu pemerintah. Banyak sudah orang yang mati, dan yang tersisa begitu ketakutan ketika melihat senjata.

“Hutangmu pada kami semakin menumpuk, dan akan lunas semuanya jika kau bergabung dengan kami!” sergah Mando Gapi.

“Aku punya anak, Bang,” ibanya.

“Selalu itu alasanmu!”

“Aku tidak tahu harus bagaimana.”

“Kau masih beruntung punya keluarga. Kami tak punya siapa-siapa lagi selain senjata. Apa pun alasanmu, kau harus tetap membayar pajak. Itu adalah tanggung-jawab orang yang tidak mau ikut berperang!”

“Tapi, aku tak punya uang, Bang,” kata Hasan.

“Bukankah cabaimu hampir panen?”

“Tapi, aku belum memetiknya. Hutangku pada Dullah juga banyak,” keluh Hasan.

“Kau selalu mengeluh. Berperang pun menolak. Jadi jasa apa yang bisa kau sumbangkan demi kepentingan orang banyak, dan demi martabat bangsa Aceh yang sudah habis dinjak-injak pemerintah? Mereka merampas hasil bumi kita, menguras minyak, gas, dan menebang kayu-kayu untuk kertas. Ketika menuntut untuk merdeka, mereka mengirimkan tentara, membunuh lelaki dan memperkosa perempuan-perempuan kita. Pantaskah sekarang kau berdiam diri saja?”

“Kalau aku tidak punya anak dan istri, aku juga akan ikut berperang, Bang,” balas Hasan gugup.

“Alah, kata-katamu itu sungguh tidak meyakinkan. Kau tidak menunjukkan bukti apa-apa. Untuk memberikan pajak nanggroe saja kau kerap menghindar. Lihat kami yang telah mengorbankan semua harta kami untuk membeli senjata dan rela hidup sengsara di hutan yang selalu dalam intaian dan ancaman senjata serdadu laknat!”

Hasan mendengus bingung, “Aku tidak tahu, Bang.”

Mando Gapi menepuk keningnya, menggeleng-geleng, lantas berkacak pinggang.

“Dengar,” ucap Mando Gapi. “Aku ini mau berbaik hati padamu. Kaupetik itu cabai, jual, dan sisakan uangnya untuk kami. Aku akan mengambilnya besok atau lusa!”

Hasan terpaku di beranda rumahnya, memandangi Mando Gapi yang berbalik badan, meninggalkan rumahnya.

Sepeninggalan Mando Gapi, Hasan beringsut lunglai, menjongkok, lalu bersandar pada dinding rumah. Tiba-tiba tubuhnya begitu lemah, tak bertenaga, bahkan untuk berdiri saja sulit. Kata-kata Mando Gapi yang memaksa, berikut ancaman-ancaman yang bernada lunak, ditambah perkara utang-piutang di kedai Dullah, membuat kepala Hasan pening dan telinganya berdenging-denging.

Reza, anaknya yang berumur tiga tahun, muncul dari dalam rumah, menghampirinya, mengusik ketenggelaman dirinya dalam kegamangan.

Hasan menarik tangan anaknya ke dalam pangkuan, membelai-belai kepala bocah itu, sedangkan matanya menerawang jauh dengan pikiran tidak menentu. Dia terjepit antara Mando Gapi dan tentara. Sekarang juga dia harus memetik cabenya!

***

Sudah pasti prajurit yang tinggal di pos pinggir kampung itu mencium gelagat Mando Gapi menyusup ke kampung Buket Kuta. Karenanya para lelaki di kampung terpaksa melarikan diri ke hutan jika tidak ingin jadi bulan-bulanan mereka. Pagi tadi Hasan pulang, setelah teperangkap lima hari lima malam dalam hutan, kurang tidur, gelisah tidak menentu, dan tubuhnya begitu lelah. Di gubuk ditemui Saudah, istrinya, lagi tersedu. Reza, merengek-rengek minta makan.

“Kita tak punya apa-apa lagi, Bang. Beras habis,” ucap Saudah pilu.

Hasan menjawab dengan tatapan pedih. Perutnya juga perih. Bukan hanya wajahnya yang kumuh, otaknya juga lusuh. Hasan begitu geram, tak henti-henti mengutuk perang laknat itu.

Kalau saja hutangnya tidak menumpuk di kedai Dullah, dia pasti sudah melesat ke sana. Namun, dia begitu malu menemui lelaki empat puluhan itu untuk mengutang barang tiga bambu beras dan dua ons ikan asin. Dullah belum tentu bersedia memberikannya sebab hutang lama belum juga terbayar. Hasan membayangkan dirinya tidak akan sanggup menghadapi Dullah yang akan terus-terusan mengeluh rugi pada siapa saja yang datang mengutang.

Hasan tahu, setiap kali sepasukan tentara masuk ke kampung itu, Dullah terpaksa merelakan barang-barangnya, berikut beberapa rupiah uang di laci, yang langsung dikeruk tentara, seolah itu semua milik mereka. Dullah akan menyaksikan penjarahan miliknya di depan mata, tanpa berusaha menentang. Sikap tanpa perlawanan demikian, menyelamatkannya dari siksaan pasukan beringas yang sibuk memukuli dan menendang pantat dua tiga penduduk yang kebetulan sedang berkeliaran di sekitar kedai. Sambil melayangkan tendangan, mereka menunding wajah-wajah kotor petani itu sebagai pemberontak.

***

Hasan membuka kaus kumalnya yang koyak di sana-sini, lalu memukuli kepalanya dengan tangannya yang kekar. Bau pesing, bekas kencing anaknya di lantai tanah itu semakin membuatnya pusing. Dia berpikir keras sambil berjalan mondar-mandir di ruang sempit itu, dan beberapa kali hampir menginjak kaki Reza yang menyebabkannya menjerit.

Saudah membelah dua bagian mentimun yang dibawa pulang suaminya, yang ditemui Hasan di sebuah lading terlantar saat meninggalkan tempat persembunyian. Separuh dari mentimun itu diberikan pada Reza yang membuat anak itu seketika diam. Bocah itu dengan rakusnya mengigiti potongan mentimun itu. Airnya muncrat, meleleh di sekitar mulutnya.

Ketika Hasan duduk di lantai, Saudah datang dengan sebotol minyak tanah. Kulit hitam itu bengkak-bengkak serupa bekas gigitan serangga. Saudah mengoleskan minyak tanah itu ke sekujur badan lelakinya.

Hasan tahu betapa istrinya begitu mencintainya, dan Saudah juga tahu betapa suaminya sangat mencintai dia. Namun, mereka kehilangan cara untuk menanggapi atau menerima. Di tengah kemelut dan penderitaan yang begitu menyesakkan selain dari ketakutan semua perasaan terasa asing, seolah perang tak memberikan ruang sedikit pun untuk cinta.

“Sampai hutan mana Abang lari?”

“Hutan Damar.”

“Jauh sekali?”

“Tentara terus mengejar kami. Pasukan kami memancing tembakan. Mungkin ada tentara yang kena tembak. Laki-laki yang ingin selamat terpaksa melarikan diri bersama kelompok pejuang yang terus menyingkir ke tepi hutan.” Hasan memijit betisnya yang terasa pegal dan menyambung, “Serdadu pemerintah tidak akan memperbedakan lagi raut wajah petani dari wajah pemberontak, bentuk rupa mereka sama. Bau tubuh mereka juga sama, sebagaimana bau tubuh kumuh orang yang jarang mandi. Patutlah tentara mengamuk hari itu. Rupanya kami berhasil menembak salah satu dari mereka.”

Hasan berhenti sejenak dan melayangkan pandangan ke Saudah. “Apa yang mereka lakukan di sini?”

“Orang-orang termasuk anak-anak dikumpulkan di meunasah. Beberapa anak laki dipukul. Menuding-nuding bapak mereka penyebab seorang prajurit terbunuh.” Saudah mendesah.

“Kau diapakan mereka?”

“Cuma dibentak.”

Hasan terdiam sejenak lalu bertanya, “Mereka tak mengambil barang-barang dalam rumah?”

“Tidak. Mungkin tidak ada lagi barang yang akan mereka ambil. Tapi, mereka begitu kesal dan mengamuk. Ternak-ternak yang mereka lihat ditembaki.” Saudah menjelaskan.

“Kambing kita?” wajah Hasan cemas.

“Juga mati.”

“Kau tak memasaknya?”

“Bangkainya mereka bawa.”

Hasan menyentak tubuhnya, melesat lewat pintu. Dia berlari-lari ke kebun belakang, melewati pohon-pohon kelapa yang setahun belakangan ini engan berbuah. Kemarau membuat kuning daun-daunnya, dan banyak pelepah tercampak ke tanah. Hasan berhenti berlari. Kedua tangannya memukul-mukul kepalanya.

“Memang jahanam!”pekiknya. Dia berjalan gontai melewati semak-semak. Di dekat pematang sawah, tumbuh beberapa batang singkong. Sepintas ditatapnya batang-batang padi yang masih menancap ke tanah seperti seikat kecil batang lidi. Daunnya kering. Tanah tempat batang padi itu menancap pecah-pecah, retak di sana-sini. Padahal dia sudah banyak menghabiskan tenaganya untuk membajak dan mengurus tanaman di sepetak sawah itu, belum lagi kerugian biji gabah sebagai bibit yang akhirnya binasa. Tumbuhan padi itu tidak akan menghasilkan apa-apa, selain kurasan tenaga dan seperempat karung gabah yang terbuang sia-sia.

Di kebun singkong Hasan mengepalkan tinjunya dengan geram melihat batang-batang umbi tercerabut. Ada bekas kekasaran terjadi di sana. Tapak-tapak babi hutan itu sebagai bukti. Hasan memaki-maki. Perutnya perih. Dia teringat perut istri dan anaknya.

Akhirnya dibawa pulang juga sisa-sisa singkong yang masih tinggal di dalam tanah, yang tidak bisa dijarah babi hutan. Hasan mengorek sisa-sisa umbi yang masih tertinggal dalam tanah seperti ayam yang mengorek tanah mencari cacing. Umbi-umbi yang masih serupa akar kayu itu memang keras karena belum berisi.

Sesampai di gubug, Hasan menyerahkan ubi hasil korekannya ke Saudah. Dia kemudian merebus akar kayu yang keras itu tanpa bersuara.

Meskipun masih tengah hari, tubuh Hasan menginginkan tidur. Tubuhnya begitu keletihan sekembalinya dari pelarian, ditambah kurang tidur karena tidak ada tempat tidur selama di hutan, ditambah pula perasaannya yang tidak nyaman. Selama lima hari terperangkap di hutan, dia bersama pemberontak dan petani lainnya hanya tidur-tidur ayam. Perasaan cemas selalu menghantui, membuat mereka terjaga sebentar-bentar.

Setelah lama dia membolak-balikkan tubuh di ranjang kamar, mata lelahnya tidak kunjung bisa terpejam. Begitu pula keinginannya bercumbu yang terkadang timbul tak tentu waktu, yang kapan saja bisa berkobar, tak peduli siang, tapi tidak ada nyala gairah sama sekali meskipun istrinya kemudian ikut merebahkan diri di sampingnya.

“Aku mau petik cabai,” Hasan meloncat dari ranjang, lalu menyambar karung kosong di sisi pintu.

***

Sekarang, dengan bersemangat Hasan mondar mandir di antara tanaman cabai mengisi karungnya. Tangan kekar itu agak gemetaran menyambar buah-buah cabai, tidak peduli merah atau hijau. Tangannya seolah begitu terampil, cepat menyambar buah itu pada tiap-tiap batang yang bergelayut. Tetapi, seringkali pula tangan itu menyambar daun, yang disangkanya buah hijau. Kadangkala buah busuk yang tangkainya masih menempel di dahan ikut terenggut dalam genggamannya. Dia berusaha memusatkan pikiran pada pekerjaannya, tapi sering gagal. Selalu saja ada bayangan menganggu yang berkitaran tak jauh darinya.

Hasan sendiri di sana, lenyap dalam kesunyian senja. Seraya memetik cabai, seringkali dia tebarkan pandangannya ke sekeling begitu dirasakan ada sosok lain yang hadir, seolah telah berdiri di belakangnya selayak hantu. Dia begitu khawatir kalau tiba-tiba sepasukan tentara sudah berdiri mengelilinginya—itu kerap terjadi karena pasukan pengintai sering mengendap di semak-semak selama berjam-jam dan muncul tiba-tiba tanpa menimbulkan suara.

Para prajurit tidak akan percaya lagi kalau dirinya cuma seorang lelaki ladang. Sekalipun petani, di petang hampir gelap semacam ini tidak ada lagi yang berkeliaran di ladang. Kecuali pemberontak kelaparan yang sedang mencuri tanaman petani.

Hasan ingin lekas-lekas menyudahi pekerjaannya. Tangganya itu begitu cepat menyambar, tanpa peduli pucuk-pucuk cabai muda yang ikut terengut. Dia tahu, harga cabai lagi mahal. Kalau buah-buah cabai itu habis dipetiknya maka dia bisa menukarkan dengan satu karung beras, cukup bagi keluarganya untuk bertahan selama sebulan, tanpa perlu mendengar keluhan istri dan rengekan anaknya yang minta makan.

Jalur pokok cabai yang sudah dipetik itu bagai dijamah binatang liar. Batang-batangnya patah, dan beberapa buah berserakan di tanah bersama daun-daunnya yang gugur dan tercerabut dari tangannya. Hasan menyadari kerusakan tanaman cabainya itu, dia tahu daun-daun pada cabang-cabang yang patah itu nantinya akan layu berguguran.

Terasa begitu lambat pekerjaan itu, dan waktu begitu cepat melesat. Kini buah masak, hijau, bahkan putik dan busuk masuk ke dalam karung. Nanti malam di rumah dia bisa memisahkannya dari buah yang bagus. Karung itu sudah penuh. Hasan segera bangkit. Dadanya berdebar-debar begitu disadari hari sudah meremang. Perasaannya bercampur aduk antara senang dan ketakutan. Terbayang pula istri dan anaknya yang menunggunya dengan cemas membawa pulang beras.

Secepatnya dia mengikat mulut karung itu dengan tali plastik bekas. Lalu menyeretnya di jalan setapak yang diapit ilalang tebal. Matanya menyebar ke segala arah. Sengaja dia tidak memikul karung itu supaya tidak kelihatan jika ada orang yang menengoknya dari jauh. Hasan berjalan mengendap-endap sambil menyeret karung cabainya.

Ketika melalui jalan setapak yang terhalang semak-semak tinggi, Hasan bisa berjalan tegak dan merasa lega. Kalaupun ada orang di kejauhan sana, mereka tidak akan melihatnya. Hutan belukar di sekeliling melindunginya dari pandangan orang-orang.

Hasan teringat istri dan anak. Dia sadar bahwa meskipun apa yang terjadi dia harus tetap ke ladang, menanam padi, singkong, dan cabai. Padi dan singkong bisa dimakan. Cabai dijualnya pada Bang Dullah. Jika kena harga, istrinya bisa belanja ke Pasar Idi, beli baju, dan barang-barang lainnya. Dia tidak mau ikut-ikutan berperang dengan hidup tidak menentu. Keinginannya cuma sederhana, hidup bahagia,seadanya, bersama istri dan anaknya.

Sekonyong-konyong, seperti bayangan hantu berkelebat, beberapa sosok berpakaian loreng menyergapnya dekat semak-semak situ. Tentara. Hasan terkesiap, karung cabai di tangannya terlepas. Sebelum suaranya sempat keluar, sesuatu yang keras telah menghantam tengkuknya dengan begitu kuat. Hasan langsung rubuh terjerembab ke tanah. Tubuhnya tidak berkutik lagi.

***

Minerva Soedjatmiko‘s love of reading started when her mother read her stories about the lives of artists like Leonardo da Vinci. While she attended elementary school, Minerva, who prefers to use her first name only, could often be found in the library enjoying novels of different genres. Following her parents’ advice to pursue a lucrative career, she went on to study economics and law at the university. However, Minerva never lost her love for books and her joy of sharing their content with others. She eventually decided to become a language teacher and now works as an interpreter and translator in a media and communications company. Minerva can be reached at minerva.soedjatmiko@cdcplus.co.id

  Man of the Fields

Hasan hurriedly harvested the chili peppers growing on a patch of land near the stream that was starting to run dry. The farmers of Buket Kuta placed their hopes on the harvest of this small area of the valley when the dry season hit. Their village was tucked away in the deep silence of coconut groves that, neglected, had turned into overgrown woods, some nine miles off the main road between Medan and Banda, along Eastern Aceh. Idi, the closest small city, was about thirteen miles farther. Without any available public transportation, the villagers never ventured out. They had no idea what the world beyond Buket Kuta looked like.

Hasan gazed across the valley at what remained of Kampung Kulam. The village where he had grown up was now abandoned. In 1999, a year after Indonesia’s President Soeharto was forced to step down and the government in Jakarta fell into chaos, rebels in Aceh began attacking army posts in retaliation against the government. The rebels claimed that the government had exploited the natural resources that belonged to the most northern province of Sumatra, and the Acehnese had not received their fair share of proceeds. Their discontent erupted in a series of protests.

Hasan was the breadwinner of one of fifteen families from Kampung Kulam who now lived in Buket Kuta. The soldiers had found no evidence of him being involved in revolts against the government.

Hasan still remembered the beginning of the rebellion against the government. At that time, there had been no coercion in collecting what the rebels called pajak nanggroe—contributions to support the uprising. Resentment against the government was widespread, and the rich city folks who supported the rebels’ cause gladly made donations. The war was merely a spark of discontent; something similar to an ember held in a damp chaff to keep from flaring. Rebels moved around freely to meet with businessmen and wealthy people in the city without fear of drawing the millitary’s suspicion.

The few government soldiers there were back then only recognized one or two of the rebel organizers. The army affixed posters with photographs of the rebels to the walls of shops and meunasah, the prayer house, encouraging the community to report any sightings of the people shown on these flyers to the authorities.

The war dragged on, however, and the rebels became cornered and financially pressured. They began to exhort money from everyone. When the wealthy residents fled, the rebels turned a blind eye to the peasants’ hardships and poverty and made the nanggroe dues compulsory for villagers as well.

Hasan sighed and pulled his harvesting sack across the path between the chili beds. Kampung Kulam was but a memory; it had become a dense forest that snakes and boars called home. Numerous villagers had been killed and buried there. Hasan thought of his father, mother, and younger sister. Tears fell onto the rubber boots he always wore when leaving home.

***

As he harvested, Hasan chewed a reed and recalled the army’s wrath after a rebel blocked their truck and killed a battalion of soldiers with a bazooka. Hundreds of soldiers arrived the next day to punish Kampung Kulam, burning homes and shooting everyone in sight. The village that Hasan had called home became a slaughterhouse. Blood flooded the ground as women and children were killed along with the men. Luckily, at the time, Hasan and his wife were out in the fields.

Even though the field was more than half a mile away from home, they could hear the soldiers’ shouting as gunshots reverberated through the air. Each time there was an eruption of gunfire, Hasan’s breath caught in his throat and his heart pounded. When he noticed the artillery fire being returned, Hasan and his pregnant wife ran to hide in the forest.

Once the soldiers returned to their posts, Hasan found that his village had been razed; there was not a single home left standing. Everything had been burned to the ground. Bodies littered the yards of what used to be homes; more were scattered in the fields among the coconut trees and crops. Only those who happened to be far away from the village had survived. The sight of it all shook Hasan, and he suffered from a kind of amnesia for days.

When his senses returned to him, Hasan broke into tears and cursed the war. Only over time did he learn to forget. Living here required the ability to forget pain. Life demanded him to work. Thus, he and his wife built a new hut in Buket Kuta, where they now lived.

***

The soldiers at the post on the outskirts of Buket Kuta searched the village hundreds, perhaps even thousands, of times. They searched Hasan’s home almost every day, but never found any weapons. Nevertheless, each time the troops patrolled the village, Hasan and other males were always a target of their anger.

The military abused the farmers to make them hate the rebels for causing the military persecution. Helpless to fight back against the heavily armed soldiers, the villagers could only run away and seek sanctuary in the forest.

Each time the military departed after their raids, Mando Gapi and his men appeared. The square-jawed commander of the rebels demanded the villagers pay the nanggroe dues without considering how they suffered. He was having trouble finding new members willing to join the fight against the military. So many lives had been lost; those still standing shuddered at the sight of a weapon.

“Your growing debt would be paid off if you joined us,” Mando Gapi barked.

“I have a child, sir,” Hasan pleaded.

“You always use that excuse!”

“I don’t know what to do.”

“You’re lucky to even have a family. We have no one, just weapons. It doesn’t matter what you’re dealing with, you still have to pay up. That’s the price of not participating in the war!”

“But…I have no money, sir.”

“Aren’t your chili peppers about ready for harvesting?”

“But, I haven’t picked them. Besides, I owe Dullah, the village grocer, a lot of money.”

“You always complain. You won’t even join the war. What do you contribute to the greater good, to defend the honor of the Acehnese as the government tramples us? They’re seizing our oil and gas, destroying our forests to manufacture paper. And when we demand independence, they send their troops to kill our men and rape our women. Is it right that you remain silent in the face of all this?”

“If I didn’t have a wife and child, I would join the war, sir,” Hasan answered nervously.

“Come on, you aren’t fooling anyone. You can’t prove to have contributed anything. You even avoid paying the nanggroe dues. Look at us. We’ve sacrificed all of our possessions to buy weapons and lead a miserable existence in the forest under constant watch of those damned soldiers!”

“I don’t know, sir,” Hasan mumbled, confused.

Mando Gapi slapped his forehead, shook his head, and put his hands on his hips. “Look, I’m trying to be nice. Go, pick those peppers, sell them, and give us some of the money. I’ll come back for it tomorrow or the day after!”

Hasan, standing frozen on his porch, stared at Mando Gapi as the man turned around and walked away.

As soon as Mando Gapi left, Hasan slumped. He suddenly felt incredibly frail, powerless to the point that standing was a challenge in itself. Crouching, he leaned against a wall. Mando Gapi’s threats, on top of his debt at Dullah’s shop, made Hasan’s head spin and his ears ring.

Reza, his three-year-old son, walked toward him from inside the house.

Hasan pulled his son onto his lap. Stroking the boy’s head, he gazed into the distance, thoughts tumbling through his head. He was stuck between the army and Mando Gapi. He needed to harvest his peppers immediately.

***

The army had tracked Mando Gapi to Buket Kuta. Their search forced all adult males in the village to flee to the forest again. After hiding there for five days and five nights, Hasan had returned home that morning. He was exhausted. Sleep deprivation and an undefined restlessness had caused his entire body to be sore. His wife, Saudah, greeted him, weeping. Reza bawled for food.

“We don’t have anything anymore, dear. We finished the rice,” Saudah told him.

Hasan responded with a pained look. His stomach ached as well. Not only was his face ragged, his mind too was worn out. Hasan furiously condemned this cursed war.

If only he did not have so much debt accrued at Dullah’s shop, he would surely have rushed over there. But Hasan was overcome with shame at the thought of asking the middle-aged man for a bit of salted fish and rice on credit. Considering Hasan’s prior debts, Dullah might not be willing to provide him with these staples. The shopkeeper always complained of his losses to anyone who borrowed from him.

Hasan knew that each time troops entered the village, Dullah was forced to surrender his inventory to them, along with however many rupiah were in the drawer. The army picked everything clean and acted as if they owned it all.

Each time, Dullah watched them loot his shop without any attempt to resist. This conduct saved him from the abuse served up by the soldiers, who instead busied themselves with kicking villagers who happened to be wandering by the shop. As the kicks hit their marks, the soldiers threw accusations at the farmers’ dirty faces, alleging they were rebels.

***

Hasan took off his stained and tattered shirt and slapped his head with a burly hand. The stench of urine where his son had wet the dirt floor made his headache worse. Pacing the tight space, he barely missed stepping on Reza’s foot, causing the child to scream.

Saudah split the cucumber Hasan had found in an abandoned field as he was leaving his hiding place in the forest. She handed a piece to Reza, which immediately quieted him. As the toddler bit into the cucumber, its juices squirted and dripped from his mouth.

Hasan sat down on the floor; his dark skin was covered with little welts similar to bug bites. Saudah came to him with a bottle of kerosene and rubbed the kerosene all over her husband’s body to soothe the welts.

Hasan knew how much his wife loved him; Saudah knew how much he loved her. And yet they had lost the ability to respond to or receive such emotions. Amidst the peril and misery that smothered each day, every emotion other than fear felt strange; war left no room for love.

“How far did you go this time?”

“To the Damar Forest.”

“That far?”

“The soldiers kept coming after us. Our men opened fire and shot one of them. The soldiers were furious. Whoever wanted to stay alive was forced to join the rebels, who ran into the forest.” Hasan rubbed his calves and continued, “The soldiers made no effort to distinguish farmers from rebels—to them, we all look the same. Our filthy bodies even smell the same. But it’s no wonder the soldiers were furious; we did shoot one of them.”

Hasan paused and sent Saudah a scrutinizing look. “What did they do here?”

“They gathered people, including children, in the meunasah. Several boys were beaten. Their fathers were accused of causing the death of a soldier.” Saudah sighed.

“What did they do to you?”

“They just scolded me.”

“They didn’t take anything from our house?”

“No. There isn’t anything left for them to take. They were really mad. They shot whatever livestock they saw.”

“Our goat?” Concern was written all over Hasan’s face.

“Dead.”

“Did you cook it?”

“They took the carcass.”

Hasan pulled away and darted out the door. He ran to the back garden, past the coconut trees that had refused to bear fruit for the past year. The drought had turned the leaves yellow and caused the ribs to drop to the ground. Hasan stopped running. He beat his head with both hands.

“Damn it all!” he screamed, stumbling through the bushes. Close to the narrow walk bordering the rice paddies, a few cassava plants had sprouted. Stalks of rice still rose from the soil like tiny bundles of thin sticks; the leaves were parched. He had plowed the land and tended to the seedlings on this plot. Yet, the ground of the rice paddies was hard and cracked. The plants had perished, the seed wasted.

At the cassava patch, Hasan clenched his fists when he saw the uprooted plants. Boar tracks explained the damage. Hasan cursed. His stomach hurt; he thought of his wife’s and child’s stomachs.

He eventually decided to take home the boars’ leftovers. Hasan dug for the remaining roots with his hands like a scavenger. The immature tubers were hard, like tree roots.

At home, Hasan handed Saudah the meager harvest.

She silently boiled the thin, tough roots.

Though it was only noon, Hasan yearned for sleep. During the five days he was trapped in the woods, he could only catnap along with the other farmers and the rebels. A ceaseless anxiety kept everyone awake.

After a while of tossing and turning on his cot, Hasan still could not fall asleep. Neither was his passion aroused when he looked at his wife. Although he had been away from home for five days, and normally his desire for her could be sparked at any time of the day or night, he remained unmoved, even after she lay down next to him.

“I’m going to pick the chili peppers,” he told her, jumping out of bed and grabbing an empty sack next to the door.

***

Now Hasan moved between the chili beds with an urgency to fill his harvest bag. His calloused hands trembled slightly as he picked the peppers, regardless of the fruit being red or green. His fingers, skilled and swift, plucked each pepper from every hanging stem. Sometimes, in his haste, he seized the rotten ones that had not fallen off the stem. He tried to stay focused on the task at hand, but failed miserably. A shadow followed him relentlessly, circling nearby.

Hasan was alone as twilight draped the field. While gathering the peppers, he could not keep himself from looking around as if there was another presence, someone standing behind him like a ghost. He worried about suddenly being surrounded by a military squad. Soldiers on surveillance often concealed themselves in the bushes for hours before unexpectedly appearing without a sound.

They would never believe that he was merely a man working the fields. No one would still be wandering in the fields when it was almost dark. Unless, of course, they were starving rebels stealing the farmers’ crops.

Hasan wanted to get the job done quickly. He knew the price of chili peppers was at a high. If he could harvest them all, he would be able to buy a sack of rice, enough for his family to live on for a month. His wife would have no need to complain, and his son would not beg to be fed.

The row of peppers he had picked looked like wild animals had foraged there. Some branches were broken, some fruit scattered on the dirt. Hasan realized the damage. He knew the broken branches would wither and drop their leaves.

He seemed to make such little progress while time passed so quickly. Now, all chili peppers—ripe, green, or still in bud, and even the rotten ones—were bagged. The sack was full. He could sort the good from the bad later that evening at home.

Hasan straightened himself. His heart pounded when he realized how late it was. Delight and fear filled him. He imagined his wife and son, anxiously waiting for him to come home with rice.

Hasan hurriedly tied the top of the sack with a used plastic strap. He looked in all directions, then dragged the bag down a path between thick weeds. He deliberately did not carry the sack on his back, to avoid being noticed from afar. Hasan crept forward, lugging the bag behind him.

When he reached a portion of the path that was blocked from view by high shrubs, Hasan was able to walk upright and felt relieved. Even if there were soldiers out there, they would not be able to spot him. The surrounding grove gave him cover.

Hasan thought of his wife and child. Come what may, he must always return to the fields to plant rice, cassava, and chili peppers. The rice and cassava could be eaten. The peppers could be sold to Dullah. If the price was right, his wife would be able to buy groceries, clothes, and other things at the Idi Market. Hasan had no wish to join the war. He merely wanted to live a happy life with his wife and child.

Suddenly, like the silhouette of a ghost passing by, several figures dressed in camouflage jumped out of the nearby bushes. Soldiers.

Hasan gasped and let go of the sack of peppers. Something hard slammed into the nape of his neck. Before he could utter a sound, Hasan collapsed.

***

Iksaka Banu was born in Yogyakarta, October 7, 1964. He graduated from the Institut Teknologi Bandung with a degree in graphic design. He started writing when he was ten years old. Kawanku and the children section of Kompas published him. Koran Tempo and several other magazines featured his stories in 2000. Pena Kencana listed “Mawar di Kanal Macan” and “Semua Untuk Hindia” in the best twenty Indonesian short stories in 2008 and 2009. His short story collection “Semua Untuk Hindia” (Gramedia  2014), won the 2014 Kusala Sastra Khatulistiwa Award in the prose category.

Iksaka can be reached at iksaka@yahoo.com

Copyright ©2017 Iksaka Banu. Published with permission from the author. Translation copyright ©2017 by Maya Denisa Saputra.

***

Belenggu Emas

Ruang tamu ini sangat nyaman. Mungkin karena semua jendelanya dibuka lebar sehingga udara sejuk Koto Gadang bisa leluasa masuk, membawa pergi sisa kepenatan tubuh akibat terguncang-guncang selama enam jam di dalam kereta api uap milik Soematra Staatsspoorwegen yang bertolak dari Padang kemarin siang.

Kulirik Nyonya Joanna Adriana Westenenk yang duduk di sebelahku. Kurasa ia juga merasakan keletihan yang sama meski sudah terbiasa bertandang ke wilayah-wilayah jauh semacam ini.

Tujuh tahun yang lalu, suaminya Louis Constant Westenenk, menjadi terkenal karena keberhasilannya dalam mengatasi Kerusuhan Kamang yang disebabkan penolakan penerapan pajak di Kamang pada bulan Juni 1908. Kini ia menjabat sebagai Residen Benkoelen.

Aku berteman baik dengan Nyonya Westenenk, tetapi tidak menduga bahwa ia benar-benar menepati janji, mengajakku ke tempat ini. Sebuah tempat yang menurutnya akan membuat mata sekaligus hatiku terbuka lebar. Tentu saja perjalanan ini di luar kegiatan resmi suaminya. Dan aku merasa sedikit nekat bepergian sejauh ini hanya berdua saja dengan Nyonya Westenenk. Bertiga, sebetulnya. Karena selalu ada ajudan yang menemani Nyonya Westenenk.

“Louis tak bisa menemani,” kata Nyonya Westenenk kemarin. “Ada sejumlah acara di Padang bersama Asisten Residen dan para pemuka adat setempat.”

Aku mengiyakan. Seharusnya suamiku juga diundang mengikuti acara itu, tetapi ia telanjur ditugaskan kantornya ke Solok bersama beberapa Kepala Insinyur lain. Bulan lalu ia sudah mengirim surat permintaan maaf kepada Asisten Residen.

Maka, di sinilah aku sekarang. Bebas mengikuti kata hati. Ya, sudah lama aku menginginkan petualangan liar semacam ini, meski tampaknya aku harus lebih sering melatih kesabaran, duduk berlama-lama di atas bangku kereta api yang keras. Setiba di Fort de Kock, kami beristirahat semalam, lalu pagi hari tadi berkereta kuda ke tempat ini.

Tak jauh berbeda dengan rumah-rumah Hindia lain yang biasa dimiliki pejabat bumiputera terpandang, rumah besar. Empat keping jendela gaya Prancis menjadi penyeimbang di kiri-kanannya pintu depan. Ada pula bangunan tambahan, memanjang di kedua sisi rumah utama. Mirip ruang kelas. Itulah bagian yang sesungguhnya paling penting dari bangunan ini. Ingin sekali aku segera melongok isinya, yang konon telah membuat gempar banyak pejabat Belanda di seantero Hindia. Tetapi tentu saja aku harus sabar menunggu hingga tuan rumah muncul.

“Onne biasa datang sekitar jam setengah sepuluh,” kata wanita dalam busana Minang yang tadi menyambut kami. “Dan bila tak ada keperluan lain Onne akan terus di sini hingga sore hari,” sambungnya sambil menyuguhkan dua cangkir teh hangat serta sejumlah kudapan. Ia memperkenalkan dirinya sebagai Zaiza, atau barangkali nama lain yang kurang-lebih berbunyi seperti itu. Bahasa Melayunya bercampur dengan logat setempat. Agak sulit bagi telingaku yang sudah sangat terbiasa mendengar Bahasa Melayu Batavia atau Melayu Jawa.

“Terima kasih. Kami memang datang terlalu pagi. Tak apa, kami akan menanti kedatangan beliau.” Nyonya Westenenk mengangguk.

Zaiza minta izin kembali ke belakang.

“Onne adalah nama panggilan wanita yang akan kita temui nanti,” bisik Nyonya Westenenk. “Artinya: kakak.”

Aku mengangguk, lalu memutar pandangan ke beberapa sudut ruangan. Di hadapanku, dekat jendela, berderet buku berbahasa Belanda, Arab, dan Melayu. Tersimpan rapi di dalam sebuah lemari berkaca dengan empat ambalan. Di ujung kanan ada rak pendek, sarat tumpukan koran terbitan dalam dan luar negeri. Sementara di sisi kiri tergantung sebuah potongan kain yang dikerjakan dengan kehalusan yang menakjubkan. Mungkin itu salah satu contoh tenunan yang dikerjakan di sini. Dan terakhir, di atas meja, tampak terbitan terbaru sebuah koran yang belum lama ini menjadi perbincangan hangat di antara kami. Benar-benar ruang tamu yang sarat peradaban.

Bukan hal aneh menjumpai pemandangan serupa itu di ruang tamu para pejabat Belanda. Tetapi saat ini aku tengah berada di dalam sebuah bangunan yang jauh dari keramaian kota, milik seorang pribumi. Tepatnya, seorang wanita pribumi.

Seolah mengerti yang kupikirkan, Nyonya Westenenk menyentuh pundakku sembari melempar senyum.

“Ini belum semuanya, Nellie,” bisiknya. “Tunggu sampai kau berbicara dengannya. Dengarkan pemikiran-pemikirannya.”

“Ya, Nyonya,” sahutku. “Banyak berita tentang orang ini. Seharusnya aku malu. Ia berani menyuarakan dirinya sendiri di tengah tekanan hebat lingkungannya. Sementara aku, lihatlah, betapa menyedihkan diriku di hadapan suami.”

“Berhentilah menyalahkan diri.” Nyonya Westenenk memperbaiki letak sarung tangan putih berpola renda yang dikenakannya.  “Hindia Belanda tidak sama dengan Eropa. Di sini semua berjalan lebih lambat. Bahkan orang kulit putih pun tak bisa melangkah gegas. Tetapi bukan berarti kita tak sudi merentangkan kedua tangan lebar-lebar menyambut perubahan yang sedang menggeliat. Perubahan yang sebentar lagi membuat lompatan besar di seluruh penjuru dunia ini. Di Barat, di Timur, di seluruh penjuru dunia, wanita sedang bergerak.”

“Dan suami Anda sungguh luar biasa, membiarkan Anda pergi ke sini hanya ditemani olehku dan seorang ajudan, sementara aku harus mencuri waktu selagi suami bertugas ke luar kota.”

Kulirik jendela. Tampak Joep, ajudan Tuan Westenenk sedang asyik bercakap dengan kusir kereta yang tadi mengantar kami ke sini.

“Louis sama saja dengan pria-pria lain di dunia. Pernah terlihat rapuh, tidak percaya diri, bahkan sangat tidak ramah kepadaku saat berkobar kerusuhan Kamang tujuh tahun lalu,” Nyonya Westenenk kembali memahat senyum tipis di wajahnya yang tirus. “Tetapi setelah perang berlalu, ia kembali seperti yang kukenal sebelumnya. Memberi banyak kelonggaran. Dengar, aku tak ingin mencampuri urusan rumah tanggamu. Aku lebih dahulu kenal dengan Theodor Makenbrug, suamimu, dibandingkan dirimu. Ia teman dekat Louis. Sejauh yang kutahu, tak ada yang salah dengannya. Kalau tampak keras, barangkali karena ia mengkhawatirkanmu. Belum terbiasa melihat istrinya ikut sengsara, berpindah-pindah rumah di negeri ini. Louis dulu juga begitu.”

“Saya rasa semua memang tergantung dari mana kita melihat, Nyonya. Betul, ia baik hati dan setia. Itu satu hal,” kataku sambil bangkit, berjalan mendekati dinding dekat lemari buku yang menyimpan foto keluarga. Cukup aneh melihat banyak foto manusia di rumah ini.  Biasanya, sesuai tafsir agama yang mereka anut, keluarga Muslim Minang pantang memindahkan wajah ke atas sehelai kertas foto. Aku dengar, menurut mereka haram membuat tiruan ciptaan Allah. Tetapi rupanya keluarga ini bukan hanya terbiasa berfoto, mereka tahu persis bagaimana tampil anggun di depan kamera. Anak-anak lelaki berdiri gagah dalam seragam kelasi Victoria seperti yang biasa dikenakan para sinyo Belanda, sementara anak-anak perempuan mengenakan gaun dan sepatu putih. Dari semua sosok yang terpampang di situ, harus kuakui bahwa pemilik rumah ini ternyata memang telah memiliki tatapan sangat tajam sejak masa kanak-kanak.

“Theo setia. Aku tidak mengeluhkan Theo dari sisi itu,” aku melanjutkan bicara. “Dan barangkali Anda benar. Masuk akal bila semua itu membuatnya sangat khawatir. Tetapi untuk hal lain…” aku tidak merampungkan kalimat, karena kulihat Nyonya Westenenk tidak menyimak. Ia sibuk membolak-balik koran yang ia ambil dari rak. Kuurungkan pula niat untuk mengajaknya kembali membicarakan pokok masalah awal.

Ya, aku tidak mengeluhkan Theo dari sisi kebaikan hati dan kesetiaan. Tak pernah kudengar sedikit pun berita miring tentang dirinya. Padahal setiap malam hampir semua kelab, baik di Batavia, Bandung, atau Semarang sarat kisah perselingkuhan.  Mulai dari yang menggelikan, hingga yang mengerikan.

Aku bertemu Theo pertama kali di Singapura pada suatu petang yang sejuk oleh siraman hujan tiga tahun lalu. Seorang teman ayahku berulang tahun. Kami merayakannya dengan meriah di Singapore Club, sebuah perkumpulan para pialang saham yang terletak di lantai atas Hotel Adelphi.  Sejak kematian Ibu, aku sering menemani Ayah pergi ke segala pelosok. Termasuk menghadiri acara di tempat-tempat khusus semacam ini. Dan seperti mendiang Ibu dahulu, aku juga berperan sebagai malaikat penjaga. Tak ingin melihat Ayah kelewat mabuk sehingga harus digotong pulang.

Malam itu, kubiarkan Ayah melayari kegembiraan masa lalu bersama teman-temannya di meja bilyar, sementara aku memilih menyendiri di kursi besar dekat beranda dengan sebuah buku, mengenakan kebaya putih, serta sarung panjang. Menjauh dari gerombolan lelaki yang tak putus berteriak, “Boy, lagi, setengah!” sambil mengacungkan gelas wiski kosong kepada pelayan.

Beberapa wanita berkumpul juga di ruangan ini, tetapi tak ada seorang pun yang kukenal, dan aku terlalu malas untuk berbasa-basi.  Jadi, kubenamkan saja wajahku pada halaman buku.

Maka di sudut itulah beberapa saat kemudian, seperti penyulap yang muncul secara gaib dari balik tirai, seorang pria mendadak berdiri di depanku, mengangsurkan segelas cherry brandy. Wajahnya sangat Belanda. Penuh sudut di sana sini. Di atas bibir, sepotong kumis berwarna gelap menjulur rapi. Serasi dengan jas hitam yang dikenakannya.

“Lihatlah, betapa meriah malam ini. Seorang bidadari berkulit putih dalam balutan sarung Melayu, berkelana menyusuri bait-bait Tagore,” katanya. “Tetapi kusarankan engkau mencoba dahulu sekecap dua kecap minuman ini. Dan aku menyebut diriku sendiri Makenburg. Theodor. Panggil saja Theo. Insinyur di salah satu perusahaan ayahmu.”

“Cornelia. Nellie. Terima kasih. Suka Tagore?” kujemput gelas dari tangannya seraya mengutuk dalam hati keisengan ayahku menyodorkan orang ini. Tapi tidak seperti pria-pria pilihan Ayah sebelumnya, kurasa kali ini aku bertemu orang yang bisa kupertimbangkan lebih jauh. Ya. Getaran halus itu. Aku bisa merasakannya.

“Aku sering mendengar orang membicarakan Gitanjali.” Sangat berhati-hati Theo duduk di sebelahku. “Sayang sekali, untuk lelaki yang setiap hari bergaul dengan besi, mur, dan beton, sangat langka kesempatanku membaca karya sastra dunia. Tetapi engkau boleh yakin bahwa aku tidak melewatkan Max Havelaar. Sungguh berguna untuk orang yang ingin bertandang ke negeri asal kisah itu ditulis.”

“Itu salah satu buku kesukaanku. Setelah membaca, ada semacam panggilan untuk memperbaiki keadaan di sana. Seperti yang dikatakan Rudyard Kipling dalam salah satu sajaknya…”

“The White Man’s Burden?” potong Theo.

Kutinju lengannya sambil mecibirkan bibir. “Lihat, ada seorang pendusta di sini. Kau penggemar sastra pula rupanya!”

Kami tergelak.

“Engkau menyukai wanita yang gemar membaca buku sastra?” pancingku.

Theo mengangkat bahu, memanjangkan bibir sejenak sebelum menjawab sambil tersenyum, “Asakan ia juga gemar membaca buku resep makanan Eropa dan Hindia.”

“Ah, tidak suka wanita yang mandiri? Bagaimana pendapatmu tentang Aletta Jacobs?”

“Demi Tuhan, Nellie. Kita sedang berada di tengah suasana gembira. Dan kau mengajakku berkelahi!” seru Theo sambil mengangkat kedua tangan, memasang kuda-kuda bertinju.

Kami tertawa.

Itu pembicaraan awal kami yang sangat bersahaja. Setelah itu, Theo mulai kerap bertandang ke rumah kami di Singapura. Sekali-dua mengajak aku dan Ayah bersantap malam di luar. Enam bulan kemudian kami menikah. Menjelang dua tahun usia pernikahan, setelah lelah menunggu kehadiran jabang bayi yang tak kunjung tiba, memaksa agar diperbolehkan mengikuti Theo menduduki posnya yang baru di Batavia. Melalui pertengkaran sengit, akhirnya Theo bersedia membawaku serta.

Kami tinggal di kawasan Gunung Sahari. Sebuah wilayah dekat pantai. Udara di situ sangat panas dan lembab. Tiada hari tanpa keringat, sehingga aku lebih sering mengenakan kain-kebaya dibandingkan pakaian Eropa. Seperti anjuran seorang rekan wanita Ayah, aku selalu mengenakan kebaya putih. Selain memantulkan panas, putih adalah warna kebaya kelas atas yang sebaiknya dipilih oleh wanita Eropa bila ingin memakai busana gaya tropis. Aku juga semakin terampil menggulung rambut tinggi-tinggi. Kini leher dan kuduk terbebas dari rasa gatal akibat panas.

“Aduh, Nyonya. Cantiknya!” Asih, babu kami, menggoda.

“Seperti Dewi Nawangwulan,” Mang Udin, kusir bendi langganan kami ikut menimpali. Entah apa yang ada di pikiran mereka melihatku berpakaian seperti itu. Tetapi menurutku mereka tampak senang.

Setelah kami pindah ke Padang, aku tetap berpenampilan demikian. Awalnya Theo tidak memberi tanggapan apapun soal rambut dan pakaianku. Namun pada suatu sore tiba-tiba ia mengajakku duduk di tuinhuis, jauh dari penglihatan para jongos dan babu kami.

“Ada baiknya engkau tidak terlalu sering berpakaian seperti itu,” ia menunjuk kebaya dan kainku. “Terutama di tanah Sumatera ini. Barangkali akan jauh lebih baik bila engkau tidak pernah lagi mengenakan semua itu.”

“Oh, mengapa?” aku terperanjat. “Apakah aku melanggar suatu larangan yang dikeramatkan di sini?”

Theo mengisi pipa gadingnya dengan tembakau. “Memang, ada kaitannya dengan mereka, tapi ini soal lain.  Bukan perkara keramat. Coba pindahkan sebentar sudut pandangmu ke pihak kita.”

Aku terdiam. Berusaha berpikir keras, namun tetap tidak menemukan sesuatu yang keliru. Sebenarnya aku bahkan samasekali tak mengerti apa yang dikatakan oleh suamiku.

“The white man’s burden. Ingat?” Theo meloloskan serangkaian asap dari mulutnya beberapa kali. “Kita ingin mengubah keadaan, mengubah mereka. Bukan berubah menjadi mereka. Bukan merendahkan diri di hadapan para babu, jongos, atau tukang bendi. Aku tak pernah suka dengan orang Inggris, tetapi aku setuju pendapat Raffles dan Kipling. Orang kulit putih harus menjadi teladan untuk segala hal. Termasuk berbusana. Coba lihat, meski Raffles sangat memahami budaya daerah, bahkan menulis buku tentang Hindia, ia melarang pejabat memakai kain atau mengunyah sirih.”

“Ah, begitu rupanya,” aku menghela napas. “Tadinya kukira aku telah melanggar aturan setempat. Ternyata persoalannya jauh lebih sederhana.”

“Ini bukan persoalan ringan,” mendadak suara Theo meninggi membuatku menarik tubuh ke belakang.

“Maaf,” kataku lirih. “Tetapi hampir semua istri pejabat Eropa di Singapura tidak risih mengenakan sarung atau cheong sam. Para suami bahkan secara berkala mengenakan baju gaya Tiongkok. Sejauh yang kuingat, hal itu tidak menurunkan wibawa mereka di depan jongos maupun babu. Di Batavia kemarin, semua warga Belanda juga memakai sarung, kebaya, dan baju takwa. Engkau tidak merasa terganggu?”

“Kita bukan di Batavia,” Theo mengetuk pipa, membuang sisa abu. “Di sini orang masih mudah menghunus parang untuk alasan yang sulit kita cerna. Kita harus tegas, sedikit keras. Harus diingatkan bahwa jarak dengan kita tetap ada. Salah satunya dengan cara saling menjaga kehormatan. Mengenakan busana masing-masing. Jarak dan ketegasan akan memunculkan rasa segan, yang pada gilirannya akan membangun kepatuhan. Setelah patuh, mereka bisa kita didik, kita bentuk menjadi lebih baik. Semua untuk kebaikan mereka juga akhirnya. Dan tentu semua ada tahapannya. Bayangkan, di belakang kita boleh jadi mereka membuat lelucon. Menganggap kita seperti badut saat mengenakan busana mereka. Bagaimana pula perasaanmu melihat seorang jongos memakai jas?”

“Jongos? Tentu saja. Tetapi para bupati kerap mengenakan jas dan baju pesiar gaya Eropa. Kita tidak keberatan, bukan? Dan Nyonya Westenenk….”

“Ah, Adriana itu. Meski istri pejabat tinggi, ia jenis wanita yang tidak bisa kau jadikan panutan. Kehadirannya di rumah sangat langka. Kasihan Louis. Adriana tidak bisa seenaknya mempergunakan dalih pekerjaan sosial untuk bepergian ke sana ke mari tanpa suami di sisinya.”

“Ia tidak plesir, Theo. Aku tahu apa yang ia lakukan dengan wanita-wanita pribumi, baik di Agam maupun di Benkoelen. Ia memberi ruang bagi mereka untuk berkembang. Dan setahuku suaminya mendukung.”

“Louis tak tahu apa-apa tentang tata krama. Itulah yang memaksaku menemuimu sore ini. Aku tak mau kau bertingkah seperti Adriana. Ia seperti penyakit menular. Siapa yang ia dekati, berubah menjadi liar. Aku tak ingin orang bergunjing tentang dirimu. Selain itu, hendak kalian apakan wanita-wanita pribumi itu? Kalian ingin mereka melompat-lompat dengan kaki terangkat ke atas menari cancan? Di Eropa, engkau mungkin bisa jungkir balik menabrak tradisi. Seperti Aletta Jacobs, pujaanmu itu. Bekerja di luar rumah atas nama sendiri. Bahkan menuntut hak memilih wakil rakyat. Tetapi sekali lagi, tidak di sini!” Theo menyimpan pipanya lalu masuk ke dalam rumah, meninggalkanku sendiri ditaman dengan sejuta kegundahan.

Hari itu senantiasa kuingat dalam hidup, karena merupakan awal pertikaian tak berkesudahan dengan suamiku. Ada saja yang ia persoalkan. Pilihan makanan, cara bicara dengan babu, jongos, atau larangan bergaul dengan seorang nyai yang tinggal di dekat kami. Celakanya, semua selalu berujung pada pengurangan hak-hak istimewaku. Semakin lama ruang gerakku semakin sempit. Belakangan, lewat sebuah keributan hebat, ia tidak lagi memperbolehkanku membeli koran walau masih boleh menikmati buku. Kubalas perlakuannya dengan pindah tidur ke kamar lain. Kukunci pintu. Lalu kuhabiskan malam-malam panjang dengan menulis sajak atau karangan lain dalam berlembar kertas.

Akhirnya kemarin, saat Theo sedang pergi ke Solok, aku nekat mengikuti ajakan Nyonya Westenenk ke Koto Gadang. Kusuap jongos dan babu agar tidak menceritakan peristiwa ini kepada Theo. Ini kesempatan langka. Aku harus bertemu dengan wanita Minang yang luar biasa ini. Wanita yang telah menjadi ilham banyak orang di Hindia. Yang telah mendirikan sekolah, memberi bekal ketrampilan menenun, menjahit, serta membordir bagi kaumnya, agar tidak semata menggantungkan nafkah dari belas kasihan suami, atau sekadar menjadi perhiasan tak bernyawa. Serta yang paling penting, agar tidak jatuh kelembah nista, menyewakan tubuh untuk bertahan hidup saat suami mereka meninggal.

Tiga tahun lalu wanita ini bahkan maju lagi selangkah, menjadi pemimpin sebuah surat kabar khusus wanita. Sungguh, semakin bulat tekadku ke sini. Aku ingin diperbolehkan sesekali mengisi ruang pendapat pembaca di dalam surat kabarnya. Membantunya membuka belenggu emas yang sering dipasang kaum pria untuk mengecoh wanita.

“Ah, Nellie. Apakah tumpukan buku itu mengganggu pendengaranmu?” suara serak Nyonya Westenenk menarik sukmaku kembali ke ruang tamu besar yang sejuk ini. “Lihat, yang kau tunggu sudah datang. Pendiri sekolah Amai Setia dan pemilik suratkabar Soenting Melajoe. Beliau sendiri. Tak lain dan tak bukan.”

Kuikuti arah pandang Nyonya Westenenk.

Seorang wanita berusia tiga puluhan berdiri di pintu masuk. Kulihat wanita yang kuimpikan itu. Berdiri dengan tas rotan tersampir di pundak. Ia lebih pendek dari yang kubayangkan. Bahkan terlihat semakin mungil dengan kain ikat berwarna kesumba di kepalanya. Tetapi aku bisa melihat jelas semangat hidup yang berkobar dari kedua belah matanya. Juga dari kuatnya genggaman saat ia menyambut uluran tanganku serta berkata dengan suara lantang dalam bahasa Belanda yang sangat fasih, “Ik ben Roehana Koeddoes. Welkom op de ambachtschool genaamd Amai Setia. Van mevrouw Westenenk heb ik vernomen dat u een interessant manuscript over vrouwen heeft voor mijn krant. Saya Roehana Koeddoes. Selamat datang di Sekolah Kerajinan Amai Setia. Saya dengar dari Nyonya Westenenk Anda punya banyak naskah menarik tentang dunia wanita untuk surat kabar saya?”

***

Maya Denisa Saputra was born on July 30, 1990 in Denpasar, the capital of Bali, and grew up on Indonesia’s “island of the gods.” She left briefly to finish her education, a bachelor’s degree in Accounting and Finance from the UK-based University of Bradford in Singapore. While holding a position in the accounting department of a family business, she pursues her interests in writing, literary translation, and photography.

She can be reached at: maya.saputra@gmail.com

***

 The Golden Shackle

The living room looked very comfortable, with wide-open windows so the cool air of Koto Gadang could freely enter the room. The breeze gently blew away the fatigue caused by sitting for six hours on the steam train owned by the Soematra Staatsspoorwegen that had departed from Padang yesterday afternoon.

I glanced at Mrs. Joanna Adriana Westenenk, who sat next to me. Even though she was accustomed to traveling all over Western Sumatra, I assumed she felt the same kind of exhaustion that I did.

Seven years ago, her husband, Louis Constant Westenenk, had made his mark in government service during the June 1908 tax rebellion known as “The Night of Kamang.” He now was the Resident of Bengkoelen.

I was a good friend of Mrs. Westenenk, but I hadn’t expected that she would keep her promise to bring me with her to this place. She had told me this visit would enlighten both my mind and soul. I felt rather adventurous for traveling this far away with only Mrs. Westenenk.

Actually, there were three of us; the Resident’s wife was always accompanied by an aide.

“Louis won’t be able to come,” Mrs. Westenenk had said yesterday. “He has to attend a government affair in Padang.”

My husband had been invited to the same event, but had received an assignment from his office to travel to Solok with all the other engineers. He sent his regrets to the new Assistant Resident last month.

Hence, here I was—free to follow what my heart wanted. I had been longing to go on an adventure like this for a long time. I just had to practice sitting on the hard bench of a train coupé to develop my endurance. We had stayed overnight at Fort de Kock before heading for this place in a horse-drawn carriage early this morning.

Just like other Indies-style houses owned by high-ranking local officers, the walls of this house were made from wood. Four French-style windows flanked the front door. There were other buildings as well, built on both sides of the main building. They looked like classrooms. I really wanted to take a look inside those rooms; they had reportedly caused an uproar among Dutch officers across the Indies. But I had to wait patiently until the owner of this house appeared.

“Onne usually arrives around half past nine.” The woman who had greeted us when we arrived was dressed in Minang clothes. “And if she isn’t required to go anywhere else, Onne will stay here until evening.” The woman had introduced herself as Zaiza, or something similar to that, and served us hot tea and snacks. Her Malay was mixed with local dialect. I was accustomed to Malay with a Batavian or Javanese accent, and I had to adjust to the way she spoke.

“Thank you. We did arrive too early. It is fine, we will wait for her.” Mrs. Westenenk said.

Zaiza excused herself.

“Onne is the Minang way of respectfully addressing a woman,” whispered Mrs. Westenenk. “It means older sister.”

I nodded and turned my attention to the room. Near the window, books in Dutch, Arabic, and Malay were neatly stacked in a glass bookcase with four shelves. In the right corner, a rack was filled with local and foreign newspapers. A skillfully woven piece of cloth—a sample of local textiles, perhaps—hung on the wall. This living room showed a high level of refinement.

It would not be uncommon to find such an ambience in the living rooms of Dutch officers, but I was now far from the city, in a home of a native. To be more exact, I was in the home of a native woman.

Mrs. Westenenk lightly tapped my shoulder and smiled, as if reading my mind.

“This is not all, Nellie,” she whispered. “Wait until you talk to her, listen to her ideas.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” I answered. “I’ve heard a lot about this woman. She bravely speaks up for herself—unlike me, who is a pathetic presence at my husband’s side.”

“Stop blaming yourself.” Mrs. Westenenk adjusted the white lace gloves she wore. “The Dutch Indies is not the same as Europe. Everything moves slower here—even the white people can’t move quickly. It doesn’t mean that we are not willing to welcome change. In the West, as well as the East, women around the world are moving.”

“Your husband is a very understanding person for letting you come,” I said. “I had to sneak out between my husband’s assignments.”

“Louis is just like any other man in this world. I’ve seen his fragile, insecure side—he was even hostile to me when the riot in Kamang broke out seven years ago.” Mrs. Westenenk forced a smile. “But he returned to his normal self after the war ended, giving me a lot of freedom. Listen, I don’t want to meddle in your personal affairs. I’ve known your husband long before you and, as far as I know, there’s nothing inherently wrong about him. If he seems to be difficult, it might be because he’s concerned about you. He’s not used to seeing his wife suffer from moving here and there. Louis was like that, too.”

“I think it’s all about our perceptions, Ma’am. It’s true that he’s good-hearted and faithful.” I stood up and walked toward the bookcase where the family portraits were displayed.

I thought it was strange to see so many photographs. I knew it was forbidden for a Muslim Minang family to immortalize themselves on film; just like it was haram—condemned by the Islamic law—to reproduce the human likeness on paper. This family, however, seemed to be accustomed to taking photographs. The boys looked dashing in their Victorian-style sailor suits, which were usually worn by the Dutch boys; the girls wore gowns and white shoes. Judging from the photographs, I conceded that the owner of this house had a sharp look ever since she was a child.

“Theo is faithful—I don’t have any complaints in that regard. And maybe you’re right, It makes sense that such unrest would make him anxious. But, for other things…” I noticed Mrs. Westenenk was no longer paying attention to me. She was busy flipping through a newspaper she had taken off the rack.

I had never doubted Theo’s faithfulness or kindness. Despite the fact that all the clubs in Batavia, Bandung, and Semarang were filled with talk of adultery, I had never heard any rumors about him. The stories varied, from foolish to scary ones.

I had met Theo for the first time in Singapore, three years prior, at a birthday party of my father’s friend. We celebrated it at the Singapore Club, on the upper floor of the Adelphi Hotel. Ever since my mother’s death, I frequently accompanied Father on his travels, including attending events in clubs like this. Just like my late mother, I acted as his guardian angel. I didn’t want to see Father get so drunk he had to be carried home.

That night, I let Father have a good time with his friends at the billiard table. Wearing a long sarong and white kebaya, the native long-sleeved blouse worn over a wrap-around skirt, I secluded myself with a book and took a seat in a large, deep, easy chair near the verandah. Thus, I was at some distance from the crowd of men who continuously yelled, “Boy, fill up!” while waving empty whiskey glasses at the waiters.

There were a few other women in this room, but I didn’t know any of them. Too lazy to engage in small talk, I hid my face by holding up the book.

A moment later, like a magician who magically appears from behind the curtain, a man stood in front of me holding out a glass of cherry brandy. His angular features made him look very Dutch. A neat, dark moustache matched the black of the suit he wore.

“Ah! What a wonderful evening it is. A fair-skinned angel clothed in Malay apparel going through the verses of Tagore,” he said. “I recommend you take a sip or two of this drink. I’m Theodor Makenburg—just call me Theo. I’m one of the engineers in your father’s company.”

“Cornelia. Nellie.” I took the glass from his hand while silently cursing my father’s silly idea to send this man. However, unlike the previous men he had introduced to me, I had now met someone I might consider further. Yes, I did feel that gentle stir.

“Do you like Tagore?” I asked.

“I often heard people talk about Gitanjali,” Theo replied, carefully taking a seat next to me. “Unfortunately, a man who spends his days befriending iron, bolts, and concrete bars, rarely has the opportunity to read the world’s literary works. But you can be assured that I didn’t miss the Max Havelaar. It’s a very useful book for those who are going to visit the Dutch East Indies.”

“It’s one of my favorite books. I felt kind of compelled to improve the situation there after I read it. Just like what Rudyard Kipling said in one of his poems—”

“The White Man’s Burden?” Theo interrupted.

I gently punched his arm and pursed my lips. “Look, we have a liar here! It seems that you’re a fan of literary works!”

We laughed.

“How do you feel about women who read literature?” I fished.

Theo shrugged and pursed his lips before answering with a smile, “As long as she also likes reading European and Indies cookbooks.”

“Ah, you don’t like independent women? What do you think of Aletta Jacobs?”

“For God’s sake, Nellie—we’re at a party and you’re looking for an argument.” Theo raised his hands in a boxing stance.

We laughed again.

That was our first conversation. Things were simple, uncomplicated. Theo started to visit our house in Singapore frequently. Once or twice, he invited Father and me to dine out. Six months later, we were married.

Almost two years into the marriage and tired of waiting for a baby who never came, I demanded that Theo allow me to come with him to Batavia, his new post. After a heated argument, he finally relented.

We lived in the Gunung Sahari district, near the beach. The climate there was hot and humid; not a day went by without perspiring profusely. I preferred to wear sarong and kebaya, instead of European clothing. Following advice from Father’s female colleagues, I wore a white kebaya. In addition to its ability to reflect heat, white was the upper-class color of choice for European women opting to wear tropical clothes. I also became skilled in putting my hair up in a bun. My neck was now free, and the heat did not make me itch.

“You look very pretty, Ma’am!” Asih, our maid, teased.

“You look just like the angel Nawangwulan,” the coachman added. I had no idea what they thought when they saw me wear such clothing, but they looked pleased.

When we moved to Padang, I continued dressing this way. At first, Theo did not pay any attention to my hair or the way I dressed. One day, however, he asked me to sit with him in the gazebo, out of sight of our houseboys and maids.

Theo pointed to my sarong and kebaya. “I advise you not to dress like that too often—especially here in Sumatera. It’s probably better if you don’t wear those clothes at all.”

I was shocked. “Have I breached some local taboo?”

Theo filled his ivory pipe with tobacco. “Well, it has something to do with the people here, but it’s not about violating anything sacred. Please try looking at the situation from the Dutch viewpoint.”

I silently racked my brains but could not come up with any wrongdoings.

Theo blew out several smoke columns. “The White Man’s Burden, remember? We want to change the situation, change the people, instead of changing into one of them. We should not lower our position in front of our maids, houseboys, or coach drivers. I never liked the British, but I agree with what Lieutenant-Governor Stamford Raffles and Kipling thought. The white men have to become an example in all things, including the way we dress. Look at Raffles, even though he had an excellent understanding of local culture, he forbade his officers to wear a sarong or chew betel nut.”

“Ah, I see—I thought I had broken some local taboo. This matter is much simpler.”

“It’s not a simple matter!” Theo’s raised voice made me jerk back.

“I’m sorry,” I replied. “But almost all wives of the European officers in Singapore wear sarong or cheongsam.  Even their husbands sometimes wear Chinese-style clothing. This doesn’t have any bearing on the way their servants perceive them. Last time we were in Batavia, all of the Dutch women there wore sarong and kebaya, and the men wore takwa shirts. Were you disturbed by that?”

“We’re not in Batavia.” Theo tapped his pipe to discard the ashes. “Here, people still pull out their machetes for reasons we can’t comprehend. We should remind them that the distance between us still exists—one way to do this is by maintaining respect for each other. We should keep to our own way of dressing. Distance and assertiveness will help build obedience.

“It’s all for their own good,” Theo continued. “Imagine, they might be laughing behind us, thinking us fools for wearing their clothing. How would you feel if you saw a houseboy wear a suit?”

“A houseboy? That would be silly, of course. But the regents often wear a suit and European clothes. We don’t mind that, do we? And Mrs. Westenenk—”

“Ah, Adriana. Although she’s the wife of a high-ranking officer, she’s not someone you should look up to. Poor Louis. Adriana shouldn’t use social work as an excuse for her traveling around without her husband.”

“She’s not traveling for fun, Theo. I know what she has done for the native women in Agam and Bengkoelen. She gives them room to grow. And as far as I know, her husband supports her cause.”

“Louis doesn’t know anything about local manners. That’s why I asked to see you this afternoon. I don’t want you to follow what Adriana does. She’s like a contagious disease—anyone who gets close to her becomes just as wild. I don’t want people to gossip about you. Besides, what are you going to do with those native women? Do you want them to kick up their heels and dance the can-can? In Europe, you might be able to break away from tradition, like your idol Aletta Jacobs, who works away from home using her maiden name, even demanding the right to vote. But I’m telling you, not here!”

Theo put his pipe away and went inside, leaving me in the garden with a million of restless thoughts.

It was a day I would remember forever, because it led to endless arguments with my husband. He protested everything—from my choice of our food to the way I talked to the maids and houseboys—and forbid me to socialize with a nyai, the native companion of a Dutchman who lived near us. Everything led to further restrictions of my privileges. Finally, after a clash, he refused to let me buy newspapers, even though I was still allowed to enjoy books. I took revenge by moving to another bedroom. I locked the door and spent long nights writing poetry and essays on numerous pieces of paper.

Then, yesterday, when Theo left for Solok, I recklessly accepted Mrs. Westenenk’s invitation to visit Koto Gadang. I bribed the houseboys and maids to not tell Theo. This was a rare opportunity. I had to meet this amazing Minang woman who had become an inspiration to so many people in the Indies. She had founded a school for women and taught them handicrafts—weaving, stitching, and embroidering—so they would not have to depend on their husband’s income. And, most importantly, they would not become destitute and be forced into prostitution after their husbands died.

Three years ago, this woman had taken a step further, by becoming the editor-in-chief of a newspaper for women. This only strengthened my desire to see her. I wanted to write for the opinion column of her newspaper. I wanted to help her unlock the golden shackle that men so often use to trap women.

“Ah, Nellie. Did you get lost in those books?” Mrs. Westenenk’s voice called me back to the spacious, cool living room. “Look, the one you’ve been waiting for has arrived. There’s the founder of the Amai Setia School and editor of Soenting Melajoe newspaper. That’s her, no one else but her.”

I followed the direction of Mrs. Westenenk’s gaze.

A woman in her thirties stood at the front door with a rattan bag slung across her shoulder. She was shorter than I had imagined, and the crimson headband she wore around her head made her look even smaller. But I clearly saw the passion for life in her eyes, and the strength of her handshake communicated the same when she took my hand and introduced herself with a clear voice in fluent Dutch.

“Ik ben Roehana Koeddoes. Welkom op de ambachtschool, Amai Setia. Van mevrouw Westenenk heb ik vernomen dat u een interessant manuscript over vrouwen heeft voor mijn krant.”

“I’m Roehana Koeddoes,” she said. “Welcome to the Amai Setia Vocational School. I heard from Mrs. Westenenk that you have an interesting article about women for my newspaper.”

—***—

Junaedi Setiyono was born in Kebumen, Central Java, on December 16, 1965.

Setiyono is drawn to historical fiction related to the Java War (1825-1830). He is the author of three award winning novels. Glonggong, (Serambi, 2007), Arumdalu (Serambi, 2010), and Dasamuka, (Penerbit Ombak, 2017). Setiyono was also awarded a scholarship from Ohio State University as part of his doctorate degree in language education, which he received in 2016 from the Semarang State University. The English translation of Dasamuka by Maya Denisa Saputra will be forthcoming from Dalang Publishing under the same title in May 2017.

He can be contacted via his email address: junaedi.setiyono@yahoo.co.id

Copyright:
Copyright ©2017 Junaedi Setiyono. Published with permission from the author. Translation copyright ©2017 by Maya Denisa Saputra.

***

 Gusti, Doa Siapa Yang Akan Kaudengar?

Mas Agung adalah kakak tertua kami. Sepeninggal Bapak, Mas Agung menjadi pengganti Bapak. Ibu senang bahwa kami, tujuh bersaudara, tetap rukun seperti halnya pada saat Bapak masih ada. Tentu hal itu tidak lepas dari kepemimpinan Mas Agung. Maka ketika kakaknya Ibu, Budhe Mujirah, mendapat masalah, dan aku tidak sanggup membantu menyelesaikan masalahnya, tidak bisa tidak tumpuan kami ada pada Mas Agung.

Ya, aku pun menulis surat untuknya.

***

Purworejo, 10 Maret 2005

Mas Agung yang baik,
Bila tidak karena Budhe Mujirah, aku tidak akan menulis surat ini, Mas. Sebenarnya sudah sejak sepekan yang lalu beliau memintaku untuk mengirimimu surat, tapi baru kali ini aku bisa. Bukan karena sibuk tetapi karena aku harus menata hati terlebih dulu. Ya, ini tentang langgar kita.

Sejak Bapak wafat, aku memang tidak terlalu memperhatikan apa yang sudah dilakukan warga pada surau yang didirikan eyang buyut kita itu. Dan, kurangnya perhatian yang kuberikan adalah karena tampaknya keluarga kita semua setuju, bahkan merasa senang, dengan apa yang telah dilakukan warga terhadap langgar Eyang. Pernah kukatakan padamu kalau sikapku itu, selain karena Mas dan adik-adik semua sudah setuju, juga karena kesadaran betapa kita tidak bisa apa-apa. Selain itu, juga mungkin kita semua punya kekhawatiran bakalan dicap oleh warga kampung sebagai orang yang tidak setia pada agamanya.

Aku memang setuju-setuju saja pada rencana warga yang dipimpin oleh Pak Lurah, yang juga Pak Kiai kita, untuk memugar langgar yang sudah berdiri jauh sebelum negeri kita merdeka. Kita sendiri waktu itu terlalu miskin untuk memperbaiki langgar kita; untuk agak menutupi kemiskinan kita, biasanya kau menyamarkannya dengan bilang pada Pak Lurah kalau kita harus mendahulukan mana yang lebih penting. Paling-paling kita menjaga supaya atapnya tidak bocor dan rayap – yang mampu menembus lantai tegel – tidak naik merambati dinding menghabisi usuk dan reng; setahun sekali kita kapur temboknya, dan sekitar sepuluh tahun sekali kita cat semua kayu-kayunya. Ya, seingatku cuma itu.

Dana keluarga kita memang sudah habis untuk biaya kuliah kita tujuh bersaudara. Ibu memang menghendaki kita semua menjadi orang terpelajar, menjadi sarjana. Kita anggap dana itu sudah habis, karena selain menyekolahkan kita, Ibu harus selalu memiliki uang simpanan untuk biaya perawatan kesehatan Ibu sendiri; apa lagi, sekarang Ibu makin mudah sakit.

Maka ketika Pak Kiai rawuh ke tempat kita dan minta izin untuk mengganti genting kuno itu dengan genting pres sokka, kita semua setuju dan berkali-kali mengucapkan terima kasih. Genting kuno itu memang sebagian sudah kita ganti dengan genting yang lebih baru. Namun, genting yang lebih baru itu ukurannya tidak sama dengan genting yang dulu dipasang oleh Eyang. Dengan bermacam-macam jenis genting yang kita pasang untuk mengganti genting lama yang sudah aus atau pecah tentu berakibat kurang baik. Kalau hujannya deras akan tempias, dan menyebabkan para jamaah sesekali mengusap wajahnya karena risi kena kepyuran air dari atap.

Kebanyakan dari kita memang tinggal dan bekerja di Jakarta. Saudara-saudara sekandung kita lainnya tidak ada satu pun yang tinggal bersama Ibu menjaga langgar kita di Purworejo, kota tempat kita semua dilahirkan. Ada yang melanjutkan belajar, ada yang bekerja setelah menyelesaikan kuliah. Karena kita bertujuh hidup berpencar di berbagai kota, kita pun sepakat patungan untuk membayar tetangga terdekat agar menemani Ibu. Dan, untung ada Budhe Mujirah yang tinggal tidak jauh dari Ibu.

Maka kita maklumi saja kalau akhirnya warga memperbaiki langgar tanpa sepengetahuan kita karena mungkin mereka telah berusaha mencari tapi tak berhasil menemui kita. Dan Ibu, kita sudah tahu persis sifatnya, pasti hanya akan mengatakan: sumangga kula nderek, silakan saja saya setuju.

Untuk itulah atas usulku ketika itu: bagaimana kalau langgar itu kita wakafkan saja. Karena pada kenyataanya langgar itu memang sudah menjadi milik warga, bukan lagi milik keluarga kita. Dan, kau dan adik-adik setuju. Kita berdua lalu mengurus surat-suratnya hingga terbit surat bukti kepemilikan tanah. Ya, urusan itu selesai dengan melegakan. Ini sungguh menenteramkan karena kita merasa sudah menyenangkan hati Ibu. Ingat ‘kan kalau Ibu sering membisiki mengingatkan kita, bahwa kita ini “jelek-jelek” masih termasuk trah kesuma rembesing madu? Suatu trah yang salah satu cirinya adalah memegang teguh pituduh putra becik nyirami mring kulawarga, anak yang baik menyiram kebaikan kepada keluarganya.

Sekitar lima tahun yang lalu, kita sepakati pulang menjelang hari raya Idul Fitri dan kembali ke tempat kerja setelah shalat Ied. Namun, setelah Bapak berpulang ke rahmatullah, pada Juni 2002 yang lalu, Ibu menasihati kita untuk tidak harus pulang bersama-sama menjelang Lebaran. Ibu katakan, “Kepulanganmu itu lebih banyak mudharatnya daripada manfaatnya.”

Aku diam-diam berterima kasih atas usul Ibu itu karena memang kupikir beliau benar. Tapi tentu saja kurang baik kalau hal itu yang mengusulkannya adalah kita, anak-anaknya. Maka kita sepakat untuk pulang menjenguk Ibu pada hari ulang tahun kita masing-masing dan merayakannya – istilah Ibu, mensyukurinya – bersama Ibu di rumah tua kita yang letaknya berdampingan dengan langgar, rumah di mana ari-ari kita ditanam di pekarangannya.

Nah, karena itulah sejak berpulangnya Bapak tiga tahun lalu kita jarang berkumpul bersama-sama di rumah Ibu. Adik-adik bilang, kita ‘kan bisa berhubungan setiap saat pakai telepon atau HP. Jadi tak ada masalah kalau tidak dapat berkumpul setiap hari raya. “Kumpul ora kumpul asal mangan, kumpul tidak kumpul asal semuanya makan…,” begitu candamu ketika itu.

Sekarang ini setahuku memang hanya aku dan kau Mas, yang masih memikirkan langgar kita yang dulu dikenal orang dengan nama “Langgar Trunan” – karena eyang buyut, yang mendirikan langgar itu, dikenal dengan nama Eyang Truno. Dan sejak beberapa tahun yang lalu dapat kita amati perubahan-perubahan pada saat kita setahun sekali shalat di dalamnya.

Mas pasti ingat kejadian-kejadian dan percakapan kita. Perubahan pertama adalah digantinya genting lama dengan genting pres yang menjadikan langgar tampil mentereng. Perubahan berikutnya adalah lantai yang dikeramik. Ingatkah ketika kau berbisik, “Sebenarnya lantai tegel yang dibangun oleh Eyang Truno sesaat sebelum meninggalnya itu masih bagus dan bahkan makin lama makin tambah mengkilat.” Dan, tidak kutanggapi pernyataanmu karena memang keramik putih lebih menjamin kebersihan. Kotoran sekecil apapun, tahi cicak misalnya, akan kelihatan di atas hamparan lantai putih bersih.

“Lalu lantai tegelnya dibuang ke mana?” kejarmu ketika itu.

“Tidak dibuang, tapi keramik itu langsung dipasang di atasnya,” jelasku.

Jawabanku rupanya belum memuaskan rasa ingin tahumu, dan kau berujar, “O, begitu. Dananya dari mana Dik? Kamu tahu?”

“Iuran warga. Itu yang bilang Budhe Mujirah,” jawabku.

Kita pun berpikir, memang lebih nyaman shalat ditempat yang putih bersih. Dan, konon setelah dikeramik warga yang shalat jamaah di langgar ini tambah banyak. Ya, syukurlah kalau begitu. Dan, kita santai-santai saja.

Nah, sekarang aku ingin membagi pengalamanku pada saat aku kembali datang di kota kelahiran kita tahun ini untuk merayakan ulang tahunku yang ke tiga puluh sekaligus menengok Ibu yang makin tampak renta dan sakit-sakitan.

Ketika itu aku seperti biasa pergi ke langgar untuk shalat, dan aku mendapati bahwa warna putih keramik menyenangkan itu sekarang sudah berganti dengan warna hijau karpet yang menyejukkan.

Waktu aku tanya bagaimana cara mendapatkan dana untuk membeli karpet sebagus itu, Budhe Mujirah menjelaskan dengan berapi-api seperti biasanya bahwa warga dengan suka cita menyumbangkan uangnya untuk membeli karpet itu. Bahkan warga mengusulkan untuk juga melengkapi langgar dengan alat pendingin.

Namun, karena aku tahu siapa itu Budhe – satu-satunya orang di lingkungan sekitar langgar yang berani bilang tidak pada Pak Lurah – aku menanggapinya dengan bercanda, “Termasuk Budhe? Budhe juga setuju?”

Dan, seperti biasa beliau akan meninggikan suaranya, “Selain aku tentu saja semua setuju!” dengan tekanan pada kata aku. Ya, begitulah Budhe, entah sudah berapa kali kudengar lengkingan suara beliau pada saat membincangkan kebijakan Pak Lurah.

Dan, seperti biasa beliau lalu bercerita dengan menggebu-gebu tentang banyaknya warga yang jadi pengangguran karena kena pehaka padahal mereka kebanyakan beristri lebih dari satu dan masing-masing istri beranak banyak. Juga tentang banyaknya perempuan muda, baik gadis maupun janda, yang jadi “nakal.”

Mas, dari genting pres, keramik, karpet, dan kipas angin aku bisa setuju, meski Mas berkali-kali bilang iuran-iuran itu dikhawatirkan akan membebani warga. Yang tidak dapat aku setujui adalah adanya rencana untuk mengganti karpet baru yang sudah ada dengan karpet yang lebih baru dan kemudian mengganti kipas angin dengan alat pendingin ruangan. Itulah yang tidak dapat aku setujui.

Pada saat aku menanyakan hal ini, salah seorang anggota takmir menjawab, “Karpet lama bukannya tidak terpakai, tapi bisa digunakan oleh warga yang ngunduh tahlilan tapi tak punya tikar atau tikarnya tak mencukupi.” Lalu dia melanjutkan penjelasannya bahwa karpet baru akan jauh lebih sedap dipandang mata, “Bukankah dengan dirancang seperti sajadah dengan gambar masjid megah nantinya para jamaah akan berderet shalat dengan lebih teratur?”

“Bukankah karpetnya masih bagus, Pak Lurah?” begitu tanyaku ketika secara kebetulan bertemu dengan beliau pada saat shalat maghrib.

Pak Lurah menjawab, “Betul Den Pras, tapi karpet ini kasar dan tipis. Dengkul bisa ngilu dan jidat bisa perih. Apalagi jika jidat dan dengkulnya kurus dan layu seperti punyanya Yu Mujirah. Karpet yang baru jauh lebih tebal dan gambarnya bagus. Ini sebetulnya demi orang-orang yang sudah sepuh seperti Yu Mujirah”

Aku kejar, “Bagaimana dengan rencana mengganti kipas angin dengan alat pendingin ruangan? Apa itu juga benar?”

Dan dengan penuh semangat dia membela diri, “Benar, karena kipas angin itu kurang menyejukkan, bahkan bisa bikin kami-kami ini, orang yang sudah tua, jadi masuk angin. Apalagi yang memang pada dasarnya tidak sehat seperti Yu Mujirah. Alat pendingin ruang lain lagi, cess krenyess … sejuk, tanpa angin dan tanpa bunyi uwuk-uwuk. ”

Aku tetap mengejarnya, “Tapi selain alat pendingin ruangan itu butuh tenaga listrik yang tidak sedikit, pemasangannya akan merombak bangunan langgar ini secara keseluruhan. Jendela kayu itu semua akan diganti dengan jendela kaca?”

Barangkali aku sudah berhasil menghabiskan kesabaran Pak Lurah, dan dengan roman muka jengkel dia berkata, “Ya, dan untuk masalah dana Den Pras tidak perlu khawatir. Bukankah selama ini warga tidak pernah merepoti keluarga besar Eyang Truno? Apalagi merepoti orang seperti Yu Mujirah? Tidak pernah, ‘kan?”

Kata-kata ini untukku cukup menyinggung, maka aku pun tak perlu lagi berbasa-basi. Aku pun lugas berkata, “Pak Lurah, saya memang tidak setiap hari shalat di sini, tapi saya dapat amati, bahwa meski sudah pakai keramik, sudah pakai karpet, para jamaah shalatnya masih pakai sajadah. Jadi sama saja dengan ketika shalat di atas lantai tegel yang dibangun Eyang dulu. Juga tentang aliran udara, hal ini sudah dipikirkan betul oleh Eyang. Lihat, begitu banyak jendela! Dan, Pak Lurah tahu bahwa gaya rancang bangun langgar inilah yang mengilhami perancang gedung kelas nasional pada saat dia diminta merancang bangunan masjid di Jakarta, ‘kan? Rumah ibadah berbentuk joglo dengan sebagian dinding dari kayu yang dihiasi ukiran Jepara inilah bentuk tampilan rumah ibadah yang khas Indonesia!”Aku pikir dengan perkataanku ini percakapan kami akan selesai. Namun, ternyata aku keliru.

Dengan senyum tipis dia berujar, “Maaf Den, sebetulnya karpet tebal berpola gambar masjid dan juga alat pendingin ruangan itu sudah kami beli, dan ada di rumah saya saat ini. Selanjutnya tinggal menarik iuran warga. Dan memang warga sudah setuju untuk iuran kok.” Dia berhenti sebentar, tajam melirikku sekilas, dan cepat meneruskan, “Memang untuk dapat dimasukkan menjadi golongan orang-orang yang nantinya masuk surga itu perlu pengorbanan harta benda. Semua warga sudah setuju … kecuali satu orang yaitu Yu Mujirah. Mungkin karena merasa diri keturunan ningrat, jadinya ya biasalah … tidak merakyat. Dan Den Pras tahu sendiri ‘kan kalau Yu Mujirah itu orang yang tidak waras?” Begitu Pak Lurah menyelesaikan ucapannya dengan enteng.

Mas, aku sungguh tak bisa menerima cucu kesayangan Eyang Truno dibilang orang sinting. Namun, rasanya tidak ada gunanya bersitegang dengan Pak Lurah. Aku tidak mampu berbuat apa pun selain bergegas menjauhinya – ya, dengan berbalik dan melangkah meninggalkannya. Tanganku yang terkepal pelahan kuregangkan. Kutarik napas dalam-dalam dan pelahan kuhembuskan. Kupandangi jendela-jendela kayu berukir yang sebentar lagi akan amblas. Tak mampu aku menahan diri, kupeluk dan kucium salah satu daun jendela yang ada di dekatku.
Pak Lurah mengawasiku dengan pandangan penuh tanda tanya.

Mas, aku tak peduli jika sekarang aku juga dianggap tidak waras oleh Pak Lurah. Namun, rupanya masalah dengannya berkembang, tidak berhenti sampai di situ saja. Bahkan, perkaranya kini berimbas pada Budhe Mujirah.

Tetangga yang kita minta menemani Ibu menelponku sekitar seminggu yang lalu. Dia katakan bahwa tiga hari lalu atap teras rumah Budhe Mujirah, yang sudah makin rapuh dan doyong ke arah langgar, membawa masalah. Beberapa gentingnya melorot dan ada yang jatuh menimpa kepala salah seorang jamaah langgar. Katanya, orang-orang menggelandang Budhe Mujirah ke rumah Pak RT. Mas, apa yang sebaiknya kita lakukan sekarang? Aku berdoa semoga masalah ini dapat segera diselesaikan dengan baik.

Aku tunggu jawabanmu.

Dari adikmu Prasojo.

Maya Denisa Saputra was born on July 30, 1990 in Denpasar, the capital of Bali, and grew up on Indonesia’s “island of the gods.” She left briefly to finish her education, a bachelor’s degree in Accounting and Finance from the UK-based University of Bradford in Singapore.

While holding a position in the accounting department of a family business, she pursues her interests in writing, literary translation, and photography.
She can be reached at: maya.saputra@gmail.com

 ***

Lord, Whose Prayer Will You Listen To?

Mas Agung is our eldest brother. After our father passed away, Mas Agung stepped up to fill his role. Mother was glad to see that all of us, seven siblings, maintained the same harmonious relationships we’d had during the time Father was still around. This, of course, could only happen under the guidance of Mas Agung. Therefore, when Mother’s older sister, Budhe Mujirah, faced a problem I could not help her with, it was only natural that I turned to Mas Agung.

Hence, I wrote him a letter.

***

Purworejo, March 10, 2005.

Dearest Mas Agung,

If it were not for Budhe Mujirah, I wouldn’t bother you. Actually, she asked me to write to you last week. I delayed, however—not because I was busy. I had to sort out my own feelings first, as this is about our langgar.

Since Father passed away, I haven’t paid too much attention to what the villagers did to the prayer house that was built by our great-grandfather. This lack of concern came from the assumption that our family seemed to agree—was happy even—with the changes the villagers were making to Eyang’s langgar. I once told you that I took such a stand because you and everyone else seemed to approve. I also realized there wasn’t much we could do. Perhaps we were all afraid to be considered apostates of our religion if we objected to improvements made to a langgar that was built long before the independence of our country in 1945.

I had no qualms about the villagers’ remodeling plans for the langgar, under the leadership of our lurah, who also is our Pak Kiai. Aside from the fact that we were sure that a person who is the village chief, as well as the elder of our congregation, would do the right thing, we were too poor to shoulder the expenses ourselves. In order to conceal our financial situation, you told the lurah we needed to prioritize the execution of repairs. At least we kept the roof from leaking and prevented the termites that managed to crawl out from under the floor tiles from destroying the walls. These are the only things I can remember.

The education of the seven of us had depleted our family funds. Mother always wanted to see us become well-educated people with university degrees. Aside from providing for our education, our family savings also funds care for Mother, as her health is beginning to decline.

So, when Pak Kiai visited and asked permission to replace the old roof tiles with new, factory-made tiles, we immediately agreed and thanked him over and over again. At some point, we did replace some of the original old roof tiles. However, the size of the new tiles was different from the timeworn, broken ones, and this, of course, created a problem. When it rained hard, water would seep through and drip on people’s heads, making them wipe their faces uncomfortably.

As you know, most of us live and work in Jakarta now. None of us stayed in Purworejo, where we were all born, to live with Mother and take care of our langgar. Some of us left to study, while those who graduated from university found jobs elsewhere. As the seven of us are spread all over, we all agreed to jointly give money to a close neighbor to keep Mother company. And, fortunately, Budhe Mujirah does not live too far from Mother.

This is why we accepted it when the villagers renovated the langgar without consulting us. It was possible that they searched for us to no avail. And knowing Mother, she would only have said, “Sumangga kula nderek: I agree, please go ahead.”

For that reason, I suggested that we bequeath the langgar to the community. In reality, it already belonged to the public and was not ours anymore. Everyone agreed, and you and I took care of the necessary documents needed to transfer ownership of the property. The procedure ended smoothly and was a huge relief to us, because we also felt that we had pleased Mother. I’m sure you remember Mother often reminds us in whispers that, no matter what, we’re still descendants of trah kesuma rembesing madu, a clan that carries the distinctive quality of adhering to the concept of putra becik nyirami mring kulawarga: good children will be a blessing to their family.

About five years ago, we all agreed to go home just before Eid al-Fitr and return to work after the Eid prayer. However, after Father passed away in June 2002, Mother advised that we not all come home on Eid al-Fitr together. “Your homecoming creates more trouble than it is worth,” she said.

I secretly thanked Mother for her suggestion. She was right—but it would not have been appropriate if any of us children had made the suggestion. We agreed to go home on our own birthday and celebrate it—Mother prefers the term “give thanks”—with her in our old house next to the langgar; the house where our umbilical cords were buried in its yard.

This is why, after Father’s passing three years ago, we rarely gather at Mother’s house. Our younger siblings said that since we can connect at any time via telephones and cell phones, it won’t be a problem if we can’t meet on Eid al-Fitr. “Kumpul ora kumpul asal mangan: whether we gather or not, the most important thing is we all are still able to eat,” you joked at the time.

As far as I know, today, only you, Mas, and I are still concerned about our langgar—once known as Langgar Trunan, because our great grandfather who built it was known as Eyang Truno. We have noticed changes when we say our prayers there once a year.

I’m sure you remember these changes and our conversations. The first was the replacement of the old roof tiles with the new factory-made ones, which gave our langgar a luxurious appearance. Next came the ceramic floor tiles. Do you remember whispering, “Actually, the cement tiles Eyang Truno had installed just before his passing were still fine and would look shinier as time passes.”

I did not respond. The white ceramic floor tiles were better for hygiene purposes. The smallest dirt—the droppings of a cicak house lizard, for example—could be easily spotted on the surface of the white floor tiles.

You continued, “Then, where were the old floor tiles discarded?”

“They weren’t thrown away. Those ceramic tiles were put directly on top of them,” I explained.

My answer did not satisfy you, and you pressed on, “Do you know where the funds came from?”

“The villagers pooled their money. That’s what Budhe Mujirah said.”

We finally agreed that it was more comfortable to pray in a shiny and clean place. Reportedly, after the installation of the ceramic floor tiles, more villagers came to the langgar for congregational prayers. For this, we could only be thankful, and we relaxed.
Now I’d like to share what I saw when I returned to our hometown to celebrate my thirtieth birthday and visited Mother, who looks even frailer.

As usual, I went to the langgar to do shalat and noticed that the nice-looking white floor tiles had been replaced with a calming green carpet.

I asked Budhe Mujirah how the villagers managed to raise the funds to buy such a beautiful carpet; she explained that the villagers gladly donated their money and even suggested installing an air conditioner.

Knowing that Budhe was the only person who would dare to say no to the lurah, I responded jokingly, “Including you, Budhe? Were you also agreeing?”

As usual, Budhe raised her voice and spat, “Everyone agreed except me,” emphasizing the word me. Well, that’s our Budhe. I’ve lost count on how many occasions she raised her voice when she talked about the lurah’s policies, and then continued to rant about the villagers who were unemployed, even though most of them had more than one wife, and each wife had many children, and the many young women, virgins and divorcees alike, who went astray.

Mas, even though you repeatedly told me you worried that all their contributions would burden the villagers, I still can go along with clay roof tiles, ceramic floor tiles, rug, and fan. However, I object to replacing a rug that still looks new, and replacing the fan with an air conditioner. I really can’t agree with that.

When I asked the board about it, one of the administrators replied, “The old rug is now used to accommodate villagers who don’t have any or enough mats for a memorial service.” He also explained that the new carpet was even more pleasing to the eyes.

“Would a design resembling a prayer mat depicting a grand mosque not make the praying congregation line up more orderly?” he asked.

When I happened to meet the lurah during shalat maghrib, the sunset prayer, I asked him,

“Pak Lurah, isn’t the rug still in good condition?”

The lurah answered, “You’re right, Den Pras, but the material feels rough on the skin and it’s thin. Our knees ended up hurting and our foreheads scratched. This would be even more so for those who have thin and old knees and forehead, like Yu Mujirah. The new rug is much thicker and has a beautiful design. Actually, we do this for older people like Sister Mujirah.”

“Then, what about the plan to replace the fan with an air conditioner?” I quickly asked. “Are you really going to do that?”

Pak Lurah passionately defended himself. “Yes, I will. The air from the fan is not cool enough, and it might even make us old people catch a cold, especially those who are frail like Yu Mujirah. The air conditioner operates differently. The air is cool, but there’s no wind nor any humming sound.”

I continued to pressure him, “Aside from the huge amount of electricity needed to power the air conditioner, its installation will cause a major change to the overall appearance of this langgar. Are those wood windows going to be replaced with glass ones?”
Perhaps I had managed to exhaust the lurah’s patience.

“Yes,” he replied, irritated, “and Den Pras doesn’t have to worry about the funding. After all, the villagers have never bothered the family of Eyang Truno, nor someone like Yu Mujirah. Right?”

His words offended me, and I no longer felt the need to make small talk. I said straightforwardly, “Even though I don’t pray here every day, I notice that, despite the ceramic floor tiles and carpeting, members of the congregation still use their prayer mats. So, there’s no difference between what they pray on now and when the langgar still had the cement floor tiles Eyang had put in. And the ventilation was also something Eyang had already thought about. Look how many windows there are.

“The joglo roof and partially wooden walls decorated with Jepara carvings make this place of worship unique. The pyramid-shaped roof even inspired a nationally renowned architect who was commissioned to design a mosque in Jakarta.” I thought my statement would end our conversation. Well, I was wrong.

He smiled cynically and replied, “I’m sorry, Den, but actually, we already purchased the thick rug with a mosque design and the air conditioner. The items are now stored at my house. We only need to pool the money from the villagers. They have agreed, anyway.” He paused for a while, to give me a sharp glance, and continued. “Indeed, to be able to join those who go to heaven, a material sacrifice is needed. Everyone has agreed. Everyone except for one person: Yu Mujirah. Maybe because she considers herself nobility, she figures she’s above worrying about the common folks. And you probably know that Yu Mujirah isn’t thinking right,” the lurah ended lightly.

Mas, I really couldn’t accept that he called Eyang Truno’s most beloved granddaughter a crazy person. However, there was no point in being stubborn and arguing further with the lurah. I couldn’t do anything else except quickly distance myself from him.

I relaxed my fingers and opened my clenched fist. I took a deep breath, then slowly exhaled. I took a long look at the wooden windows that would soon be gone. Not being able to restrain myself, I embraced and kissed one of the window shutters near me.
The lurah watched me, perplexed.

Mas, I don’t care if I’m now the one who’s regarded as insane by the lurah. But, our problems with him are far from over. They’ve now extended to Budhe Mujirah.

The neighbor we often ask to accompany Mother called me about a week ago. She told me that the roof over Budhe Mujirah’s verandah, which was old and leaned towards the langgar, had caused a problem. Some of its tiles slid off and fell on a worshipper’s head. She also said that the villagers confronted Budhe Mujirah and hauled her off to the lurah’s house.

Mas, what should we do now? I pray that this problem will get resolved soon.

I’ll be waiting for your answer.

From your brother,

Prasojo